Coworker Roundup

• "Well, they were pan-dimensional beings."


• "The microwave doesn't beep. It's the basenji of kitchen accoutrements."


• Guy: "I fell asleep in my office yesterday, watching my computer, because I've been taking cough syrup."
  Girl: "On purpose?"


• "I don't know which is worse, Clippy or the little frikkin' puppy dog."


• "She's... she's socially retarded."


• "While 'Ghost in the Machine' is a nice, 1981 Police album that reminds me of my early childhood, I think we should see what we can do to get ghosts out of our data center."


• "I sneezed while I was peeing, and I farted. For an instant, I had stuff coming out of every hole in my body."


• "Sometimes I must stop and remind myself of how many people are employees of the 'Good Intentions Paving Company'."


• "We should totally kill somebody with Nerf guns."


• "The trees throw primarily nature attacks."


• Guy 1: "And on that note, I have to go take a crap."
  Guy 2:"Uhhh... thanks for letting me know."


• "None of the servers threw an error because none of the servers BELIEVE that it's an error."


• "Let me tell you, baby formula tastes NOTHING like breast milk."