Thursday, April 03, 2008

Cell Phones are Yucky

What's the first thing most people do when they open their cell phone and look at the screen? If you said, "Wipe it off," you're right. People are inclined to do the same thing after finishing a call, as well.

Weebat told me a story about someone whose cell phone was broken. Every person he handed it to, every single one, proceeded to wipe off the screen. As if that could begin to fix the problem.

Let's face it, cell phones spend a lot of time mushed up against your head, which contains some of the oiliest skin on your body. They also spend time sitting on strange tables, or in the bottom of your purse or backpack or pocket. They can get pretty disgusting. What's a mobile, always-in-touch person supposed to do?

Duh. Clean the damn thing.

There are these cool alcohol pads in the supply room where I work. You know, the ones designed for cleaning your computer monitor's screen. But they work great on cell phones. They're effective at disinfecting the device, and also for getting your caked-on facial grease off the screen (and the less-often-cleaned but more gross keypad). All you have to do, once you get one of these amazing packets, is:

1. Turn off your grody phone.
2. Alcohol pad the crap out of it. All over.
3. Turn on your spiffy clean phone.

Tip 1: Don't try using the hand sanitizing kind of cleaning pads. They contain lotion and will majorly defeat your intended purpose, which is de-gunking your phone.

Tip 2: Don't forget the camera lens! The lenses on some phones are recessed and take a little extra attention, but it'll be worth it when you clearly catch that prize-winning picture!

Tip 3: No, you don't have to turn your phone off, but don't blame me if you accidently call Lichenstein while you're cleaning it.

This has been a public service announcement from the You Don't Have To Scream When You Open Your Phone Foundation.

4 comments:

Ash said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ash said...

I love those little alcohol pads... they taste good! ;)

CJ said...

Scuse me, you are supposed to eat the pads? Oh, you mean just suck out the alcohol. Brilliant. Get drunk at work on their dime!

Joshua said...

yeah yeah....I got a cool car...Bytches