An early foreshadowing of "The Nightmare Before Christmas" and "The Corpse Bride" from Tim Burton:
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Senator Larry Craig has endured a lot of ribbing for, among other things, coming up with a recipe involving sticking a weiner into a potato. We here at Nuclear Toast Laboratories like to look past the controversy and examine ideas on their own merits. Especially where food is involved. So I deliberately set out to recreate the Craigs' infamous recipe.
I prepared the meal several times, both in the microwave and conventional oven. Here is a pictorial progression of the most successful experiment.
First, cut both ends off the potato and use a corer to remove a hotdog-sized plug from the center.
Select your weiner. I used only the finest vegetarian soy dogs, but you can use whatever strikes your fancy.
Insert your weiner in the hole. Heh heh.
Insertion complete! (Sometimes you might have to carve out the hole a bit here and there.) Use toothpicks to re-attach the ends to the potato.
Put the potatoes on a cookie sheet and spray with Pam. (I was too lazy to coat them with shortening or butter; I figured this was an acceptable compromise. I was right.) The oven is set to 375.
This is the boring part.
While they're cooking, prepare an acceptable topping. Mine was Safeway brand "Santa Fe Recipe" beans with some Tabasco Chipotle sauce.
When the super tubers are done, slice 'em up.
Spoon/pour your topping over the potatoes and serve. Nummy!
Things I learned:
- I first tried dipping slices or pieces in mustard like the recipe says. The potatoes are too dry to eat with just a little mustard. Or even a lot. That's when I switched to beans. They have tasty juice and add some nutrition to the mix.
- Cutting off the ends of the potato and re-attaching them with toothpicks worked better than just making a hole. The potatoes were moister that way, and then you get rid of the usually icky ends.
- Microwaving is definitely faster. There was no discernable difference between the two methods, although the conventional oven might be easier for larger batches.
Posted by NuclearToast at 9:12 AM
Monday, October 29, 2007
For Halloween, Raggs and I "dressed up" as the King and Queen of Hearts. Since we started out at our favorite gay pub, guess who was the Queen?
Picture of the costumes:
Picture of us wearing them:
Oh yeah, those are some badass costumes right there! Go ahead, be jealous, we won't mind.
Posted by NuclearToast at 10:22 AM
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
- The five creepiest urban legends (that happen to be true) make great Halloween stories.
- Don't have a pumpkin but still want a jack-o-lantern? Then use this handy carve a pumpking flash.
- It seems that fall is the time for bed and breakfast weekend trips. If you're planning one, you might want to visit historic Shrute Farm. (I love how there are over 300 comments, all entered in the last two weeks.)
- You know, I love it when our government uses taxpayer resources to inform and educate. (And somebody should tell Tipsy McDrunksalot on the left there that his glasses, or eyes, aren't on straight.)
- Another just-in-time-for-Halloween link, Candy and Chocolate Bars Compared. I'm going with Smarties.
- In the Things That Come From Computers department, we have the Icon Notepad and the Keypad Calculator.
- From Andy, a great Halloween game, Zombie Golf Riot.
- The best and worst logo remakes.
- Another Halloween-themed look-see. When I came across the link for SkinBag, I thought it looked familiar. Yep, my "Seen it" site has it listed in March 2005. Check out the gallery for more synthetic skin products.
- A creepy animation that lets you relax and burn through your day at work: Depth of Field Test 5. You can also try Tests 4, 6, and 7.
- Eight of the world's most unusual plants.
- Incredible can throwing skills.
- Fifteen famous ghost pictures.
- Proving that nothing is beneath blogging, it's the Great Pizza Orientation Test.
- Long-time geeks will enjoy a trip down memory lane with Windows startup screens and sounds.
- From the Department of WTF comes a viral video for Alfa Romeo: Sloth on a Date.
- More Halloween stuff. The Horror Movie Trivia Quiz.
- A cornucopia of wasted time can be seen in the totally awesome Super Stars of teh Internet. It's also a compilation of my geekery and an acknowledgement that I've clicked into far too many distant corners of the intarwebs.
- Penguin poop.
- Embarrassing movie posters.
- If America's greatest presidents were members of the Fantastic Four, they'd look like this.
- And, lastly, a Friday game: Cubicle Freakout.
Posted by NuclearToast at 11:44 AM
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
I have a lava lamp in my office. Ok, officially it's a LAVA® brand motion lamp, but I'll call it a lava lamp for ease of... calling it. Every day, I turn it on, and it gradually warms up to produce the familiar lava dance throughout the day.
However, there are distinct stages that the "lava" goes through before it finally reaches its lava-y goodness. Those of you that have one of your own will nod along with me. Those of you that don't, prepared to be enlightened.
Stage 1: Glowing Lump. When you first turn on the lava lamp, the lava is a darkened lump at the bottom, and the light illuminates the liquid from the sides of the glass container.
Stage 2: Brain Tentacle. At some point, a portion of the lava gets melted enough to overcome the lump's seal against the side of the glass container. The melted lava shoots up the side of the glass in a thin stream and forms a folded mass at the top, cooling almost instantly. The "brain" at the top, with the "tentacle" that connects it to the lump. This stage lasts for a while. Sometimes the tentacle breaks and the brain falls onto the lump, sometimes the brain remains through portions of the next stage.
Stage 3: Bubble Factory. The bottom of the lump continues to heat, while the top is cool. The heated lava eventually melts a small hole in the lump. The hole bloops out small spheres of lava almost continuously, which rise to the top of the glass container, cool, and fall back onto the lump, where they tend to stick and coalesce. The hole and the bloops get bigger, leading to the next stage.
Stage 4: Tree Trunk Tornado. The lump has melted, and the lava forms a column that extends the entire (or almost) length of the glass container. As lava is heated, it rises within the column; as it cools, it falls back to the bottom. The writhing column sometimes takes on the appearance of a twister, hence the name. This can be a fun "game" stage, as a rising hot blob can threaten to pinch the top off the trunk, only to have singularity restored in the nick of time by a falling cool portion. This stage lasts for a while.
Stage 5: Full-on Lava Love. The one we all know. Multiple blobs of lava rising, mingling about, and falling in the liquid. The interesting (and mesmerizing) aspect of this stage is that once the lava leaves the heat source at the bottom, a blob's surface tension is too great to combine with another blob. The only way to merge is to return to the light at the bottom and be re-heated.
One interesting tidbit I learned about lava lamps is that the shape is important. The narrower top causes the liquid inside to be subjected to more surface area per volume than at the bottom, allowing it to cool more quickly and aid the rising/falling cycle of the lava. Cool, huh?
This posting brought to you as a public service. The author has received no funding or remuneration from LAVA® brand motion lamps, Lava World Internation®, or Haggerty Enterprises, Inc.
Posted by NuclearToast at 1:41 PM
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Friday, October 19, 2007
- Blessed Virgin Mary USB thumb drive, now with beating heart action!
- Lolcats continue their takeover of the intarwebs. The latest effort is the LOLCat Bible Translation Project.
- Crazy cat workout.
- How can the same tone be different each time you hear it? Check out the amazing audio illusion.
- I'm not much of a fan of country music, but it's hard to resist when I'm so much cooler online.
- The upcoming Tokyo Motor Show's dreamy concept cars.
- USB flash drives keep getting bigger. It may be pricy, but check out the new DiskGO 32GB.
- Look, Rod! It's a keyboard made out of wood!
- Stephen Colbert is running for President.
- What are the emotions that run your life? Find out at Brain Scanner.
- Scientists sure publish some weird papers. Such as Safe and Painless Manipulation of Penile Zipper Entrapment.
- Gallery of modified Pez dispensers.
- Really? Designer cinder blocks? Huh.
- It's the Enter the Matrix case mod.
- A tale from when being fat was admired.
- Creepy stretchy skin kid.
Posted by NuclearToast at 1:41 PM
Thursday, October 18, 2007
It's Storm Day 2007 in Seattle. The winds are picking up, and there have been dire predictions of power failures. The first one hit work this morning for a few minutes. And all it takes is a power failure to drive home just how awesome my laptop is. You know, because it has a battery.
As the entire building goes dark, except for my screen, I'm the only one on my floor who doesn't scream out in pain and anguish over lost work. Take that, suckas.
Posted by NuclearToast at 11:14 AM
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Dear Lady in the Exercise Room,
The TV has a million channels. Why the hell do you want to watch a friggin' infomercial? WHY? I'd kinda like to see the news and weather, rahter than painfully learn about a water filtration thingy or a bagel slicer. I tried to smile at you; did it work?
Dear Guy Who Wears Sunglasses Every Single Morning,
Dude, it's October. Have you noticed that it's actually dark outside at 7am? Seriously, quit it.
Dear Bus Driver,
What the hell? STOP SINGING.
Dear People Getting On the Bus,
Stop looking at me that way. I got here first, it's my damn seat, move on back. Thank you.
Dear People at the Park-n-Ride,
Every single friggin' morning, it's a surprise to you that I'm getting off the bus and have to walk through you. Move the hell out of the way; your bus isn't here yet. Thanks.
Dear Drivers Stuck in Traffic,
Yes, I have to cross the road in front of you because there's no friggin' crosswalk. It's not like you're going anywhere any time soon. Just chill, m'kay?
Dear Cafeteria Manager,
Dude, I don't know how you keep such a cheery disposition every single day, but keep it up. It may sound cheesy, but you light up my life, even if for a minute while I pay for my lunch. Rock on.
Dear People on the Stairs,
They're STAIRS. That means other people will use them to go the opposite direction you're going. I thought you learned how these things work a looong time ago.
Dear Guys in the Bathroom,
Come on, dudes, you're GUYS! Don't be afraid to giggle when someone lets out a massive fart. I know I'm not the only one. Guys normally find farts funny; it's even allowed in here because it's, you know, the bathroom. And it'd be less embarrassing if we all laughed. Just sayin'.
Dear Jerks That Are Too Lazy to Recycle,
It's not like the bins aren't right outside of, oh I don't know, EVERYWHERE! Use them. It's not like the short walk is going to kill you. And most of you could use the exercise. Thanks.
Dear Shuttle Van Drivers,
Excessive use of blinkers. Ever heard of the story The Boy Who Cried Wolf? Try decaf.
Dear Bus Driver,
What the hell? STOP SINGING.
Dear People in the New High-Class Restaurant That Looks Out Over the Sidewalk,
Hey, your table is right at my eye level. You wanted a window seat, that means while you look out, I get to look in. It also means I get to eye your food. And your cleavage too, lady. Bon appetit!
Posted by NuclearToast at 10:13 AM
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
If you swim in geek circles, you likely know about the "All your base" phenomenon. (If you don't, the details and full transcript can be found at wikipedia.) But if you're a big geek like me, you know about Zero Wing and the "All your base" opening.
But if you're a supergeek, like someone at my work, you have a scrolling display in the hall outside your office looping through the entire thing.
(Crappy cellphone picture. Sorry.)
Posted by NuclearToast at 8:35 AM
Monday, October 15, 2007
Friday, October 12, 2007
- Get yourself some pork stone.
- Sometimes things are in poor taste. And some things are in such poor taste that they're actually funny. Such as Men who look like old lesbians.
- Who doesn't need some Godzilla shoes?
- For whatever reason, you can get almost anything in a Hello Kitty theme. Such as a cell phone, sausages, and even an AK-47.
- Why get a tattoo when you can just get a tattoo-like tan?
- There are lots of productivity aids for today's modern office, but the weirdest one of all has got to be the office collar.
- Need a scary mask for Halloween? How about a nice Michael Jackson?
- Don't have the money for a fancy PDA? Then get yourself a handy PocketMod.
- There's really no way to introduce Bearforce One.
- Beauty pageants always seem to have a talent competition. Why, oh dear gods, WHY?
- Hello, X-Files? I found this freaky time displacement experiment video.
- Ten epic Halloween costumes.
- The wonderful and totally amazing story of the husky and the polar bear.
- Star Wars + The Dam Busters = Dam Wars.
- It's the Retro-Encabulator!
- How to make a pop-up photograph.
- Callie the dachshund doesn't like to go out. So she plays mostly dead.
- Orchestra + arcade classics = video games live.
- Toyota's viral World of Warcraft ad.
- The creepy Body Mouse.
- Interesting internet connectivity maps.
- Creepy early McDonald's commercial.
Posted by NuclearToast at 10:16 AM
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Why is it that it's always your cellphone that drops the call, and not the cellphone of the annoying jerk who talks too loud?
And speaking of cellphones, the next time you hear a ringtone so lame that it makes you laugh, remind yourself that someone chose it on purpose.
Posted by NuclearToast at 9:27 AM
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Any Stars Wars ner... er, enthusiast will tell you that before Lucas butchered their childhood memories with revisionist editing, that the lovable scamp Han Solo shot Greedo in the cantina. Variations of "Han shot first!" have popped up all over the web.
So I busted out laughing when I saw this derivative work. Click for more-big:
Get your pre-order in at Half Pixel Stuff.
Posted by NuclearToast at 8:39 AM
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Monday, October 08, 2007
Saturday, October 06, 2007
Friday, October 05, 2007
- Yes, people own former US Government nuclear missile silos. But unlike most of them, this one hasn't fallen prey to their most common ailment, flooding from being below the water table.
- Could he be the next up-and-coming YouTube star? It's the hilarious rap Bo Fo' Sho'.
- What better to complement your animated Homer Simpson USB hub than a Homer Simpson mouse and mousepad.
- As if the binary clock weren't bad enough, telling time approaches calculus proportions with the Kyokusen watch.
- Turning yesterday's junk into today's geek gear.
- Football fans wear some crazy headgear, but you really have to be into your team to wear one of these.
- Digital camera + binoculars = awesome.
- If you want small, don't get an iPod Nano. Get a USB flash card mp3 player.
- Bad day at the funhouse.
- You know someone really loves the source material when they create an entire backstory for a homemade Cthulhu specimen.
- It may be a commercial, but I can forgive that, since it features urban Ferraris.
- The 1960s Batman TV show was known for its camp, but not always for its witty dialog, such as these excerpts of Batman lecturing Robin.
- Do you like solving riddles using the web? Then you might enjoy Challenge the Qwizard.
- Rod, this one's for you: Dove Onslaught.
- Curtis, this one's for you: talking Dalek tie.
- The Broken Column house, a study in irony.
- Babies laughing and falling asleep.
- The Top 50 Dystopian Movies of All Time.
- Is is a birdtank or a fishcage? Picture.
Posted by NuclearToast at 10:44 AM
Thursday, October 04, 2007
After I was admonished by Raggs for stealing her blog post, I thought I'd continue blog mining. Here are a few things so funny that I wish I'd come up with them. Well maybe I did, but someone else did first.
Kyle Haight says:
You Know You're A Geek When...
... you're listening to a history lecture on the Reformation and you have to fight down the urge to ask the teacher why Superman didn't do anything to stop the spread of Lutheranism.
Tycho Brahe writes:
I picked up my copy of Phantom Hourglass yesterday, along with a Cinnabon, returning later to buy another Cinnabon for a "friend who really likes cinammon," proceeding to eat both in the front seat of my car, sometimes honking inadvertently.
Matthew Baldwin chimes in with:
July 25, 2007
2007 New Year's Resolution
And in a post seemingly tailor-made for me, Dong Resin asks:
Dawn of the Bread
Does bread know that it is bread? Or does it long to be wheat? At which point does it become toast? Is the moisture which escapes when you toast it the soul of the bread leaving dead toast behind?
Is the smell of toast in the kitchen a haunting by the long since bread?
A definition I like: Originality is the art of concealing your source. I guess I have to work on that a bit.
Posted by NuclearToast at 9:07 AM
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
When things catch me by surprise and are funny, I just bust out laughing. Sometimes I can manage to contain it, but usually my guffaws just gush forth. Such was the case when I got this message from Raggs, who is working an interesting job at the moment (in case you haven't been keeping up).
Raggedy Angst says:
This is so going in my blog: Disney 3-pk. High School Musical Panties
That's right, I just blogged about what she was going to blog about. HA!
Posted by NuclearToast at 4:36 PM