Friday, November 09, 2007

World Domination

The throwdown (some items replaced to protect the guilty):

Here at [group], we’re hard at work daily preserving, for posterity, the inner workings of an empire destined for greater, bigger, and more inexplicably frustrating things than any of us dare to dream. Together with the tools team, we provide the rough but delicate wicker framework that undergirds the plump cushion of operations in the deck chair that is [product]. You think you know gaming, my friend? Pah! WE know gaming.

That is why the good people of [room number] have decided to extend the right hand of friendship and spirited competition to you (even while palming a dagger near our hips with our left) and invite you to experience the latest advancements in gaming technology. Lovers of real time strategy*, lucky rolls, long campaigns, bitter clashes of red vs. white dice, and all things warlike will find much to love as we embark on our new game together.

• Experience for yourself the thrill of rolling a two and still pulling out a victory when your opponent manages only a single dot on his own die!
• Be there as the tiny plastic cannon the size of Massachusetts becomes nine men, then seven, then six, then a horse!
• Feel the adrenaline course through your veins as you occupy the indefensible European continent!
• Own the indescribable feelings of shouting, “No! Not Irkutsk!” as the hordes swarm the border from Kamchatka!

All of these experiences and more can be yours! Yes, we are talking about Risk. If you think you’ve played long board games before, well, buckle up, Pardner, because this is going to be a long and bumpy ride like you’ve never seen. So use that paid ten minute break at 2:00 PDT today to attend our opening ceremonies. Choose your army (current options are The Armada Azul, The Crimson Scourge, The Negro (that’s nay-gro, you know, Español) Murder Militia, The Grey Matter, and Los Caballeros Villanos Amarillos, though naming rights can be purchased for a nominal fee), place your mans, and hold on for dear life. One or two turns per workday means weeks of inspiring battlefield bravery, heartwrenching drama, and daring invasions before the final die is cast. Be there, or be elsewhere.

The generals gathered and prepared to do battle. The first day's results (just setting up the armies):

Stay tuned...

*Note: This game is not real-time strategy.

1 comment:

DK said...

Man that is going to take FOREVER. There is going to be an earthquake before you finish... better take a picture at least once a week.