Wednesday, November 14, 2007

The McPizza

Once again, Nuclear Toast Laboratories returns with a new cooksperiment. I can't take credit for the idea, since I saw it on the intartubes, but that didn't stop me from investigating this concept and bringing you the hard-hitting, gritty truth.

I love pizza. So any opportunity to try a new type of pizza is always welcome. And since this one doesn't seem to have any name, I've dubbed it "McPizza".

First, we need some ingredients. Boboli (whole wheat, of course), sauce, cheese, and... what? Mickey D's?
McPizza ingredients

The contents of the McD's bag: two cheeseburgers, medium fries, 4-piece chicken McNuggets. And, inexplicably, a straw.
The key toppings

Start with the Boboli crust.
Boboli

Add sauce, top with oregano.
Saucy!

It's me, so it has to be spicy, which means jalapenos.
Jalapenos!

Add the key McToppings.
McToppings!

Layer on the cheese.
Cheesy!

Close-up of some key ingredients.
Close-up!

Bake at 450 for about 15 minutes until the cheese starts getting crunchy around the edges. Here's the McPizza fresh out of the oven.
Lovin' from the oven!

I used a pizza cutter to slice up all the McGoodness.
Ready to serve!

Round-robin bite-taking to distribute the delicious taste sensations. Hamburger-y fry-y chicken-y pizza!
Mouthfulls of awesome!

To answer everyone's first question, it tastes exactly like you'd expect. Hamburger+pizza or french fries+pizza or chicken nugglets+pizza. That being said, this is one of the most awesome pizzas I've ever had, and believe me, I've put away my fair share. The pickles in the cheeseburger are a nice touch; the fries are just amazing this way, and the chicken McNuggets are surprisingly delicious. Maybe it's just the jalapenos.

The lab notes section:

  • This thing is really filling. Extremely filling. So a smaller pizza than you're used to will feed the normal crowd.

  • Smush the cheeseburgers in the wrapper before you put them on the pizza, so they're not as vertical.

  • I had to arrange the fries to get good coverage without a lot of holes or parts hanging over the edge.

  • Eating was a challenge, as the cheese helped make the toppings a layer that wanted to separate from the sauce/crust combination below. So taking a bite would cause the whole topping layer to rise up, pivoting at the bite point, and smack you in the nose. This is a sloppy-eating pizza.

  • Reheating was easy. One minute in the microwave, then about 8 minutes in the oven to restore the crispness.

Would I make the McPizza again? Oh HELL yes.

91 comments:

Raggedy Angst said...

Oh dear god. I have to wonder at the nominal nutritional saving grace of a whole wheat crust. Why not go the extra mile and get a crust made of lard and sugar? I mean, really.

Hurley182 said...

I agree, it is like getting everything Super Sized and getting a diet cola to drink cause your watching your calories.

Rod said...

This make me proud to be an American! *sniff*

Andy said...

"and the chicken McNuggets are surprisingly delicious."
Of course! They're using REAL chicken breast now....
Wheat Crust is for Wussies!

CJ said...

2 of my favorite hang over foods combined. It's genius! I must try.

weebat said...

So what ever happened with the straw?

Lynn Sinclair said...

The kind of meal that requires a doctor's visit. The whole thing just looks wrong.

Ash said...

I love that you are using a whole wheat crust and fat free cheese and then adding that poison called McDonald’s on it! Are you trying to get heart disease?

Tony Easton said...

Uh...okay...

Brently said...

Yikes! I don't think I could eat that even during the way back era of doing certain enhancments to the mind.

Louis said...

U guys are fagz

Anonymous said...

Couldn't you have cut up the McDeath toppings? Seriously, WHOLE cheeseburgers?

You + McDonald's = why America is a failure.

Anonymous said...

I suggest you try grilling this...but make sure to line the inside of the top of the BBQer with aluminum foil to make sure the pizza is cooked evenly. and enjoy.

Freddy said...

Surely there are faster (and more tasteful) ways to commit suicide.

Anonymous said...

If I were going to test my heart with this stuff I think I'd use one burger and lose the bun. Might as well chop the burger up and add a second or larger nugget order. Might investigate a bbq sauce instead of a pizza or bbq sauce with dottings of ketchup. well bbq sauce or your favorite nugget dipping sauce.

Anonymous said...

i have to try this now haha

The Morholt said...

Hilarious that people think pizza with a whole wheat crust is healthier than McDonald's. I don't care for Mickey D, but it's not unhealthier than other fast food. This recipe looks like a joke, which doesn't mean someone wont cook and eat the nasty concoction, but much funnier is the responses full of politics and food intolerance. Food puritans who call other people's choices poison are the equivalent of evangelicals who call other people's choices sin.

mariess said...

i love that people who dont care about their health call others fags and pussy's. they are the ones that will be fitter and stronger than you because they eat good food. retards!
this this is a heart attack in a meal if you actually eat like this then you need mental help.

Eric J. Hoffman said...

I would like to see a better distribution of the cheeseburgers...

stumbler said...

this looks disgusting!! i see multiple trip to the bathroom after this mcgreasy pizza!! ewwwww

Anonymous said...

FAKE! It's photoshopped.

[LaLa] Lauren said...

Anyone remember when select McDonald's were selling their own version of pizza? They'd bring it out to your table, even. They also had small personal pan pizzas. I'd say it was about 1990-1992 time frame?

Anonymous said...

I'd have one LOL

Anonymous said...

I mean seriously, its too easy to make, why would anyone take more time to photoshop something that you know drunk/hungover college students would definitely eat, because like another person said, its two of the most common hangover foods! So stop whining and just move on with your life. Its stupid to say everything is photoshopped, because there are stupid people out there that don't care about their health that eats this crap. At least he did add fat free cheese and a whole wheat crust. So just SHUT UP about being photshopped, why don't you try and make the McPizza then? A$$

Anonymous said...

YOU ARE AN AMERICAN HERO

Anonymous said...

and like most heros you will die young :)

Anonymous said...

On the bright side, if he eats enough of that pizza, he will do us all the favor of removing himself from the human gene pool. Isn't Darwin great?

Stina said...

Jesus! I gained 50 pounds just from reading that. D:

Dave Id said...

THat is SO WRONG... did it taste good?

Jimbob said...

Owwww my arteries!

Tom said...

Hamburger pizza is pretty good, but I just use ground beef as a topper.

V SHARMA said...

Wow....I still cant believe you did that..

Anonymous said...

i love you.
tomorrow night i know what i'm eating.

Anonymous said...

your fuckin' kidding me.........Right?

Anonymous said...

I added bacon and sausage to to it and I ate not just one slice but the whole damn pizza! I also ate 5 pounds of lettuce just incase.

Anonymous said...

Morholt, regardless of what we eat or whom we pray to you are SO RIGHT ON. Plz pass the McPizza

thehappyberry said...

I didn't look at this and think "I would never eat that" Rather, I looked and decided I would almost want to try it, but instead of using whole burgers would ratther cut it up.....

Seriously people the point of it obviously isn't to be healthy, and who would be dumb enough to eat this more than very, very rarely. It is much more likely a novelty thing to be eaten once.

Anonymous said...

man, that is the most amazing thing I have ever seen. I wish I had one of those right now.

do you deliver?

anonymous stumbler said...

mm heartattacks.

Anonymous said...

I'm gonna do that with a home made crust preggo sauce Arby's curly fries, Jack in the box chicken strips and quartered white castle sliders covered with a giant block of blue cheese and a block of cheddar.

Anonymous said...

My guess is the only reason you found this to be an acceptable and delicious dinner option is because you're obese and willing to eat anything as long as you can shovel it into your fat face.

The fact you're willing to do this to your body again kind of proves it case and point.

Disgusting.

Reed Solomon said...

There actually was a McPizza at one point served in certain regions. IT WAS AWESOME. I wish they'd spin it off into a separate company. It was a really good pizza.

Anonymous said...

I think that the people bitching about this really have no place to discuss health issues. A) Because you are all on your asses reading this blog (real health gurus would not be on a computer surfing the web for hours on end, they do things like..um Run?) B) Because the people that bitch about it are more probable to try it. The fact of the matter is, its new, entertaining, and part of the interwebz! Enjoy life, the author is a good person, knows how to enjoy life, whats the point of living if you can't have a little fun?

Anonymous said...

Oh dear lord... this sounds AWESOME! George Washington and the founding fathers salute you! This way I can eat pizza, McD's, and drink a beer, and smoke all at the same time!!!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!!!

Anonymous said...

Oy..and yet i still wonder what it would taste like...

Yep i'd probably give this a try
no one ever said it was healthy man!
:D

Anonymous said...

Looks absolutely delicious. I'm hungry now... and laughing at the health-nazis whining on and on. Seriously, try weird foods now and again. In the end, you're worm food just the same as the rest of us who eat hamburgers. :) Just /slightly/ more self-righteous, condescending worm-food.

Anonymous said...

Very amusing. And creative.

Anonymous said...

Hurley182 said...

I agree, it is like getting everything Super Sized and getting a diet cola to drink cause your watching your calories.
11/14/2007 9:28 AM

GD it.
I agree, it is like getting everything Super Sized and getting a diet cola to drink cause you're watching you're calories.
FTFY

Anonymous said...

Created like a true stoner, good for you.

Anonymous said...

like oh my god that is so bad for you!!111!1111 how could you eat that??!?!?!! you must be a fat

mrtrblmkr1 said...

GLORIOUS!!!!!!!

Catching the Buss said...

Real men of genius.

I love the political/omgyerfat posts that have been flung about. Priceless. Some people are just straight dumb.

cassandra said...

sweet. I'd probably do this with carl's jr. criss cut fries and chicken stars with mozzerella. just because they are eating mcdonald's on a pizza doesn't necessarily mean they are obese. sometimes when you are living on your own for the first time or a college student(i.e. low on cash) food gets boring so you have to get creative. I'd also like to try feta cheese on this.

Sam. said...

this looks about to be the most amazing thing in the world!

i think i shall try it quite soon, supplementing Arby's Curly Fries instead tho. And a Big Mac.
fuck, im so hungry after reading this.

and to all the people saying "ah, im a better person than you because i don't eat shitty foods that taste great but are bad for you" we're all going to die eventually, and i'd rather die young enjoying every moment, then live a long life never experiencing anything.

Anonymous said...

Well, I bet it would have been a lot better with a side order of a full barrel of spaghetti, another barrel barrel of peanut butter for desert, followed by some strong laxatives.
And the point of the laxatives is to start preparing another delicious MCPIZZA over and over again.
By the way, You need real courage to eat that.

Anonymous said...

" we're all going to die eventually, and i'd rather die young enjoying every moment, then live a long life never experiencing anything."
Probably the truest and least condescending comment I;ve heard on this page. (Yes, people who are calling others condesceding, and that they dont support others food choices, are being condesceding and against others food choices)
Oh the Humanity!
I Half want to try it, and half want to throw up.
The comments made me laugh so hard though ^^

Project Matt said...

this recipe should be destroyed. lol

no, just no.

Anonymous said...

YIKES!!!!

Busterdrag said...

As a cook, I am offended. But as a lover of experimental cooking, I'm also interested.

And as a Nerd, I really want to try out this thing. XD

Phil said...

McAwesome!

Anonymous said...

WAAAHHHHH arguing about food on the internets!

seriously though, this idea is awesome. who gives a flying f*** if its bad for you. that isn't the point. delicious food is the point. the only thing that could possibly make it better is some bacon..mmmmmm bacon.

Anonymous said...

This looks DELICIOUS !

I'm gonna do it this week for sure, thanks for the idea !

Anonymous said...

what a stupid idea.

pizzatherapy said...

I think I'll stick to toast.
Thank you very much.
Albert Grande
Make Pizza, Be Happy>

Anonymous said...

I have recently discovered (through frivolous research) that the purpose of this concoction was to entertain people and bring a new idea to the world of outrageous foods, not to be put on the list of healthy eating or to show that the original poster is a fat cow. He simply wanted to experiment. No one in their right mind would eat this godawful thing, unless it was a one time experiment or just for kicks. I believe that people who really think that someone would eat this on a normal basis (even a overweight person!) has problems of their own to fix. Thank you for creating this post which shows the many ways of expressing one self, whether it be meaningful or not.

Anonymous said...

I don't know if I should run and scream or try it myself. both are definitely tempting.

Anonymous said...

There's two in the oven right now !

This is gonna be good ! We suffered a bit to get the McIngredients, but it was worth it !

Thanks again !

Lauren said...

hahaha how high were you when you made this?

Anonymous said...

hahahahahahaha, i hope all you hippie faggots die trying to save the trees. it was a one time meal that in no way damaged his body. all you health food nutswingers should get together for a mass suicide.

Ed said...

Thank you! I haven't laughed this hard in a long time...

Lighten up folks... one meal like this isn't going to kill him...

Ren said...

It's like a heart-attack waiting to happen, i swear. I salute you! 8D

Anonymous said...

does it taste good?! is it healthy?! did you eat it?!

Anonymous said...

Yes its very healthy. I suggest you eat 3 of those a day. maybe you'll get cancer faster.
Humanity does not need people like you sir.

Anonymous said...

THIS IS WHY AMERICANS DONT DESERVE FREE HEALTH CARE :D

Anonymous said...

Normally, I would find something this awesome delicious sounding, but for some reason it's making my stomach turn. Maybe I'm pregnant.

Anonymous said...

My friends and I created three of these heart attack pizzas and not only were they utterly delicious but also incredibly filling and had I died immediately afterwards I'd have been a happy man. The burgers are by far superior to chips and nuggets but I'd still keep them on. I recommend this product!!!!

P.S. Works just as well on a plain cheese pizza base.

P.P.S. I do not recommend three as its far too much and the third will not be consumed

Keri said...

Can't wait to try this tonight. My fiance seems a little "um-are-you-serious?". I'm sure he'll like it since he like McDonald's so much.

Anonymous said...

The person who said it was photo shopped is an idiot. No it's not. And if it is.. that's amazing photoshop-ness! but wow. That looks like a heart in pizza form. I can feel a heart attack just looking at it.

Anonymous said...

I feel sick just looking at it... I mean... eww...

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7TxjJr2Sos

Just Add Bacon!

Anonymous said...

you must be a stoner

Anonymous said...

I'd prefer this
http://img260.imageshack.us/img260/705/1240256732683.jpg

Anonymous said...

Wow, that looks absolutely delicious! Great post, you did such a nice job presenting the pictures too...I am definitely going to have to try that recipe this weekend! Thanks :)

Anonymous said...

You'd have to be in really poor health to begin with to actually get a heart attack from this. I think its funny people think this thing could kill you. What about people that exercise often and eat tons of food or just have high metabolisms!? This looks like a great meal with a beer or too. Bravo.

Garden Tool User said...

I've actually tried this recipe and it turns out quite good. Very different from a pizza parlor, however.
http://www.onetouchglucometers.com/accu-check-glucometer

Anonymous said...

...please where can I buy a unicorn?

Brad said...

Mouth is watering; I've visited this page for several months now and I've never tried it. It looks delicious though

Anonymous said...

That looks terrible, yes, terrible and delicious. LOL!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, don't forget the Diet Coke LOL

Anonymous said...

I LOVE all the people on here that think that Americans are all like this guy. OH YES, because other countries don't have McDonald's. And those other countries don't eat at said McDonald's. My mistake. Granted the US is like the cesspool of the world. And last I heard, obesity isn't restricted to the United States. Get your heads out of your asses. Like anyone would take this person serious. I'm totally sure he has to be 500lbs because he ATE that pizza. Oh and of course, he eats ONE pizza three times a day. Get your noses out of the air. Your shit doesn't smell any different than the rest of society's.

Anonymous said...

People do this stuff as a joke and out of curiosity. Shut up about their health.