Friday, November 30, 2007

Twisted Review

I have a pretty wide selection of Christmas music. And, after listening to this album:
Twisted Christmas at
...I have to say, it's pretty good. Have a headbangin' holiday!

Activity Corner

Thursday, November 29, 2007

The Red Swingline

Classic red Swingline staplerI finally remembered to bring in the red Swingline stapler that Raggs got for me. It had been stashed in the box o' crap from my last job, and I kept forgetting about it. But now it's here. And everyone who comes in my office, without exception, 1) knows the reference, 2) comments on it, and 3) picks it up.

Time for a quote:

And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire...

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Flight of the Wayback Machine

I got together with a few work friends last night to watch the 1986 Disney movie Flight of the Navigator. It was funny because, while planning the get-together to watch it, everyone (and I mean everyone) had the exact same reaction: "OMG, I haven't seen that in forever!"

The movie, while somewhat cheesy by today's standards, and co-starring a very young Sarah Jessica Parker, was still entertaining. Sure, we hurled a few witty comments at the screen here and there, but overall it was enjoyable to watch. Trivia: Even though the voice of the spaceship is credited as "Paul Mall," it is actually Paul Reubens (Peewee Herman).

But we may have unleashed a monster. There is already talk of rockin' it old-school geek style with TRON, The Last Starfighter, and Wargames.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Holidays are Go!

Now that Black Friday and Cyber Monday are over, the holiday season is officially in full swing. I think my grandpa said it best, but then, he always did.

Here's an appropriate quote from Dave Barry:

"Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice."

Help keep yourself in the spirit by listening to the music as much as you can by finding your nearest holiday music format radio station.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Caption Contest

Caption contest

He always complained that faces came out of the rain...

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Caption Contest Winner

He may have won by default, but this week's winner is DK.

See the original image here.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Activity Corner

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving!

Or as I call it, National Eating Day. Thanksgiving is always the gold standard of overeating which I refer to throughout the year. "I'm full, but I'm not Thanksgiving full," is a common statement after a large meal.

So watch your parades, eat your traditional foods, and watch your football. Just remember to get to bed early, because tomorrow is Opening Day in the Professional Shopping League, and you have to get up early to compete!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Video Game Discovery

Tonight, The Discovery Channel begins its documentary series on video games with the first episode (titled, appropriately, Level One) at 8pm. See the ancient history that gave rise to an entire industry on Rise of the Video Game.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

My Eyes!

They repainted the walls at work using the colors from the product's logo. After seeing expanses of hallways visually assaulting you with the bright, unreal colors, it dawns on you why they're used so sparingly in the actual logo.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Caption Contest

Caption contest

New "face condom" all the rage among nerdy wookies.

Caption Contest Winner

The latest winner is DK. Funny caption!

See the original image here.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Activity Corner

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Halloween Leftovers

Dear guy down the hall,

You work with a bunch of geeks and nerds. Halloween was two weeks ago. That Halloween candy you still have in the bowl? Just throw it away. It's still sitting out because it sucks and no one wants it.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

The McPizza

Once again, Nuclear Toast Laboratories returns with a new cooksperiment. I can't take credit for the idea, since I saw it on the intartubes, but that didn't stop me from investigating this concept and bringing you the hard-hitting, gritty truth.

I love pizza. So any opportunity to try a new type of pizza is always welcome. And since this one doesn't seem to have any name, I've dubbed it "McPizza".

First, we need some ingredients. Boboli (whole wheat, of course), sauce, cheese, and... what? Mickey D's?
McPizza ingredients

The contents of the McD's bag: two cheeseburgers, medium fries, 4-piece chicken McNuggets. And, inexplicably, a straw.
The key toppings

Start with the Boboli crust.

Add sauce, top with oregano.

It's me, so it has to be spicy, which means jalapenos.

Add the key McToppings.

Layer on the cheese.

Close-up of some key ingredients.

Bake at 450 for about 15 minutes until the cheese starts getting crunchy around the edges. Here's the McPizza fresh out of the oven.
Lovin' from the oven!

I used a pizza cutter to slice up all the McGoodness.
Ready to serve!

Round-robin bite-taking to distribute the delicious taste sensations. Hamburger-y fry-y chicken-y pizza!
Mouthfulls of awesome!

To answer everyone's first question, it tastes exactly like you'd expect. Hamburger+pizza or french fries+pizza or chicken nugglets+pizza. That being said, this is one of the most awesome pizzas I've ever had, and believe me, I've put away my fair share. The pickles in the cheeseburger are a nice touch; the fries are just amazing this way, and the chicken McNuggets are surprisingly delicious. Maybe it's just the jalapenos.

The lab notes section:

  • This thing is really filling. Extremely filling. So a smaller pizza than you're used to will feed the normal crowd.

  • Smush the cheeseburgers in the wrapper before you put them on the pizza, so they're not as vertical.

  • I had to arrange the fries to get good coverage without a lot of holes or parts hanging over the edge.

  • Eating was a challenge, as the cheese helped make the toppings a layer that wanted to separate from the sauce/crust combination below. So taking a bite would cause the whole topping layer to rise up, pivoting at the bite point, and smack you in the nose. This is a sloppy-eating pizza.

  • Reheating was easy. One minute in the microwave, then about 8 minutes in the oven to restore the crispness.

Would I make the McPizza again? Oh HELL yes.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Trolley Trash

The Park and Ride at the work end of my daily bus commute is often host to discarded shopping carts. The nearest store is at least a quarter mile away, but the other day, there were five carts dumped in the greenery near the bus stops. One from Fred Meyer, one from Whole Foods, and three from Target.

What is wrong with people? Ok, I get it that the stores are a bit of a hike, and it's hard work to actually carry their purchases. Or do they buy so much that they can't carry it all? Either way, I think we're dealing with some serial shoppers here.

I wonder how (or even if) the carts make their way back to their respective stores. They do seem to disappear infrequently. But in my anger at people who, for whatever reason, fail to follow the etiquette of civil shopping, I derive a little pleasure thinking of those people at their destination as they unload all their loot off the bus onto the sidewalk, and then stand there staring at it, blinking as they gradually realize they have no way to get all their stuff home.

Sherpas are in such short supply these days!

Monday, November 12, 2007

Caption Contest

Caption contest

For first time in recorded history,
a music store employee is stoned.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Caption Contest Winner

This week's winner is me, since the two posted entries didn't quite make the cut. But hey, at least they tried, unlike the rest of... oh, I think you know who you are.

See the original image here.

Friday, November 09, 2007

World Domination

The throwdown (some items replaced to protect the guilty):

Here at [group], we’re hard at work daily preserving, for posterity, the inner workings of an empire destined for greater, bigger, and more inexplicably frustrating things than any of us dare to dream. Together with the tools team, we provide the rough but delicate wicker framework that undergirds the plump cushion of operations in the deck chair that is [product]. You think you know gaming, my friend? Pah! WE know gaming.

That is why the good people of [room number] have decided to extend the right hand of friendship and spirited competition to you (even while palming a dagger near our hips with our left) and invite you to experience the latest advancements in gaming technology. Lovers of real time strategy*, lucky rolls, long campaigns, bitter clashes of red vs. white dice, and all things warlike will find much to love as we embark on our new game together.

• Experience for yourself the thrill of rolling a two and still pulling out a victory when your opponent manages only a single dot on his own die!
• Be there as the tiny plastic cannon the size of Massachusetts becomes nine men, then seven, then six, then a horse!
• Feel the adrenaline course through your veins as you occupy the indefensible European continent!
• Own the indescribable feelings of shouting, “No! Not Irkutsk!” as the hordes swarm the border from Kamchatka!

All of these experiences and more can be yours! Yes, we are talking about Risk. If you think you’ve played long board games before, well, buckle up, Pardner, because this is going to be a long and bumpy ride like you’ve never seen. So use that paid ten minute break at 2:00 PDT today to attend our opening ceremonies. Choose your army (current options are The Armada Azul, The Crimson Scourge, The Negro (that’s nay-gro, you know, EspaƱol) Murder Militia, The Grey Matter, and Los Caballeros Villanos Amarillos, though naming rights can be purchased for a nominal fee), place your mans, and hold on for dear life. One or two turns per workday means weeks of inspiring battlefield bravery, heartwrenching drama, and daring invasions before the final die is cast. Be there, or be elsewhere.

The generals gathered and prepared to do battle. The first day's results (just setting up the armies):

Stay tuned...

*Note: This game is not real-time strategy.

Activity Corner

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Reflections on "Get a Life"

As a huge computer nerd, video gamer, and general all-around geek, I've heard my share of "Get a life!" from people. You know, the ones who think that exercise and socializing and exposure to daylight somehow make you a real person. Well, fear not, for my fellow geeks have come up with some fine ripostes to this standard put-down.

  • "I'll get a life when I determine it's better than the one I already have."

  • "Get a life? I'm a gamer, I have unlimited lives!"

  • "Get a life? I HAVE a life! It just so happens that escapism is a major part of it!"

So take that, you big meanies!

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Sleep is good for you?

Any health benefit your body derives by sleeping until it wakes up naturally is immediately negated by the near-heart-attack you suffer when you suddenly realize your alarm didn't go off, you've overslept, and you're now late.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

It's Not a Run, It's a Race

Raggs and I ran a 5k race on Sunday. You've got to admit, it's pretty impressive that the girl can 1) even get me away from the computer, and 2) get me to participate in organized athletics.

I am not competitive at all. Or so I thought, until I pinned a number to my shirt. Somehow that rectangle of tyvek turns you from an unconcerned participant into someone whose only goal is to pass the next person in front of you. Over and over. So we gathered in the early morning sea of spandex, ready to attack the course.

As the crowd surged away from the starting line, we noticed a runner with a leash. There was a taut blue line connecting a guy around 40 to a dark brown dachshund. "Oh man," we said to each other, "that's not right. He can't run the whole race with that little thing!"

We quickly entered the crowd, went around the first corner, through downtown, and then up the first mile's incline. We began passing those that fell prey to the Darwinian hill, knowing a nice downhill was ahead of us. Cresting, we let gravity help us pass even more, although Loud Breathing Guy used his amazing megaphone breath to practically override our autonomic best attempts at respiration.

Along the waterfront, we continued our assault on those ahead of us. As we passed the 3-mile mark, we looked up ahead to see a taut blue line. Dozens of yards in front of us, we could see the hyper little dog still straining against the leash. It followed an arc, running back and forth in front of the guy, legs pumping furiously, obviously being held back by its blue tether. I started laughing, and, out of breath from the run so far, found out what it feels like to laugh and gasp at the same time. It ain't pretty, people.

We pushed on to the end, only blocks away, and kicked it out to cross the finish line. We bettered our time from last year by about half a minute, and as we stood there, breathing hard, we saw the guy and his dachshund. His face was so red and he was panting so hard that I thought he might be about to have a heart attack. The dachshund, however, was not panting, and was obviously looking to go on, especially with all the runners crossing the finish line right in front of her. I think someone might be slipping a little crystal meth into the Alpo, if you catch my drift.

No matter how cute she was, and how much she let us pet her, there was no way around the truth. I was beaten by a speed demon weiner dog with, like, 4-inch legs.

It's a good thing I'm not competitive.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Caption Contest

Caption contest

"It's a bird. Check. It's a plane. Check. It's super...
Alright, where's the dude in the tights?"

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Caption Contest Winner

This week's winner is Andy. Nice Halloween-related caption, dude!

See the original image here.

Friday, November 02, 2007

Activity Corner

Thursday, November 01, 2007

And We're Off...

How was your Halloween, good? Got lots of extra candy around now, either at home, or the office, or both? It's so good, can't resist...

Halloween marks the beginning of the end-of-year calorie-athon. It starts with all the candy and treats destined for Trick-or-Treaters. Then we have the build-up to Thanksgiving, our national eating holiday. (I know that I personally have two levels of food bloat: full, and Thanksgiving full.) Add in the holiday parties for work and with friends, the non-stop cooking and goodies that show up throughout the season, and combine with the shorter, darker days and worsening weather, and the end result is something that makes you throw sheets over your mirrors and make one of those I'm-going-to-really-lose-weight-this-time New Year's resolutions.

I'll be good, right after one more peanut butter cup. Ok, two.