Thursday, May 31, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
You think you know what things are called, but even parts of those things also have names. Whether it's a horse's hoof, a grain of wheat, or a gear, each detail has already been characterized and added to the nomenclature. Often, these items belong to categories. For example, different types of gears.
Why is this important? Because there are kinds of poo. That's right, crap is classified by the Bristol Stool Scale.
You know what the worst part is of knowing the shit scale? It's like opening Pandora's box. You can't not know it. And from now on, you'll be rating your dumps.
Posted by NuclearToast at 8:20 AM
Monday, May 28, 2007
Sunday, May 27, 2007
The Swedish band "Boys on Wheels" is a bit unusual. The lead singer doesn't worry about trivial matters like diction or melody. But then, he has a reason. Once you get over the shock, their humorous lyrics will have you laughing. Or maybe it's just me, since I'm already going to hell.
There's this video.
And this one.
Last, but not least.
Posted by NuclearToast at 6:56 PM
Friday, May 25, 2007
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
On the internet, many people use "lol" as punctuation, sometimes even beginning and ending a "sentence" with it (or something similar, like "lmao"). It can be annoying.
But there are people that do it in real life too. You know the ones. They have that fakey-sounding laugh they make after they say something. There are at least three of them on my floor in close proximity to my office. As annoying as it is in text, it's much more grating when you hear it in person.
And people wonder why my dream job is "hermit".
Posted by NuclearToast at 9:54 AM
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Monday, May 21, 2007
Friday, May 18, 2007
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Sometimes the simplest and stupidest of jokes can really crack you up. As you laugh your butt off, other people just stare at you with that quizzical why-are-you-laughing-at-such-a-stupid-joke look. (And people who know me understand that others don't need to laugh with me, since I'm quite happy just amusing myself; I'm my own best audience.) So, without further ado, two stupid jokes that crack me up.
Two snakes are slithering along through the grass, when one asks the other, "Thay, are we poithonouth?"
"Yes, very. Why do you ask?"
"I juth bit my tongue."
Two muffins are in the oven. The first muffin says, "Wow, it sure is getting hot in here."
The second muffin says, "HOLY SHIT! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week.
Posted by NuclearToast at 9:37 AM
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
You know you've made it big in the web/blogging world when, in some sort of weird high-tech-to-low-tech backwards devolution, you get a book published. I know! Going from electronic bits to ink on dead trees is a sign of success. Apparently, if you have a Cool Idea that translates into lots of "hits", you can print out your words and scans and graphics and join the rare hierarchy.
So, like any other blogger who'd like to cash in on the book lottery, I toy with ideas that publishers and geeks would like. And I think I've come up with one.
Surrounded by geeks all day, I hear an amazingly wide variety of ringtones. I think I'll have people upload their ringtones and add witty comments to each. Then print all the ringtones and comments in a book.
Sounds like a winner to me.
Posted by NuclearToast at 9:21 AM
Monday, May 14, 2007
Friday, May 11, 2007
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Warmer weather always brings out the motorcycle riders, with their requisite colorful leather jackets and wrap-around helmets. And they must really get used to wearing those helmets, because they can't seem to take them off.
I suppose they're kind of a hassle to take off and put back on, but do you really need to wait for 10 minutes in the latte line with your helmet on? It makes you look like some sort of socially awkward Boba Fett.
Posted by NuclearToast at 9:26 AM
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Monday, May 07, 2007
Friday, May 04, 2007
Thursday, May 03, 2007
There's one problem when you rely on modern technology to stay in touch with everyone: you rely on modern technology to stay in touch with everyone.
For example, if you are cellular only (no landline) and accidently put your phone on silent mode without knowing it, you can cause a cascade event of human panic among those who are normally instantly in touch with you and suddenly can't reach you, as you spend several hours relaxing at home before realizing you haven't heard from anyone in a while.
Although, for the record, Heroes still totally roxxors my soxxors.
Posted by NuclearToast at 9:55 AM
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Sometimes we get so used to something that we forget what life was like before. Take computer mice. Remember when the only kind had that ball in the bottom, and you had to open it up all the time to scrape the crud off the rollers? Ah, the good old days.
Now that we have advanced optical mice, we don't have to clean our "mouse balls" any more. Nope, now all we have to do is turn them over every so often and scrape the crud off the low-friction pads.
Posted by NuclearToast at 9:55 AM