Monday, December 31, 2007

Happy New Year!

Have a safe and sane evening. See you next year!

Caption Contest

Caption contest

A pint a day keeps the Doctor away!

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Caption Contest Winner

Yay, I win again!

See the original image here.

Friday, December 28, 2007

Activity Corner


Sorry for the short list this week, not a lot happening on the intartubes, what with the holidays and all. See you next week to finish off 2007!

Thursday, December 27, 2007

It's Like Ray-eee-ain...

You know how so many items we purchase today come in those impossible-to-open sealed plastic packages? The ones where you try to cut them open with a pair of (pretty beefy) scissors or a bigass knife? Well, I got this cool Christmas present that is one of those it's-about-time sort of deals, the amazing plastic package opener!

The kicker? Guess how it was packaged.

One package of irony, please!

(Click for biggerness.)

Monday, December 24, 2007

Caption Contest

Caption contest

Happy Holidays! I left you a present...

Scary Santa

Every year, partents take their kids to sit on Santa's lap and get their picture taken. And every year, some kids get totally freaked out. Luckily, we can laugh at them from the safety of our computers.

Enjoy the Scary Santa gallery.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Caption Contest Winner

There is no winner this week, due to lame entries. So I used my own caption. Don't like it? See if you can do better next week!

See the original image here.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Activity Corner

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Sunrise, Sunset...

Tomorrow we celebrate the Winter Solstice. Not celebrate as in dancing around trees like druid hippies, but celebrate as in the psychological victory of knowing that the days are going to start getting longer as we head inexorably towards summer. Yes, the first day of winter, and we're already thinking about summer.

Now, some might say, "But Nuke, my calendar says the first day of winter is Saturday!" Which is true if you live in an east-coast-centric universe. However, here in Seattle, winter starts at 10:08pm PST tomorrow night, so there.

Talk of the solstice got me to wondering. We all know that the first day of winter is the shortest day of the year (for most of us, anyway). But how do actual hours of sunlight/darkness map out to actual sunrise and sunset times? You might be surprised; I know I was.

According to this chart at the Pacific Science Center, the latest sunrise occurs in winter, at 7:58am, from December 30th through January 3rd. That's a good week after the solstice! Also, the summer solstice occurs around June 21st, but the latest sunset, at 9:11pm (don't forget to factor in Daylight Savings Time) goes from June 21st through June 30th.

Who says you can't learn anything from the internet?

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

What's Your Who Name?

You know, from The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. Here's how you find out.

  1. Go to this site. Yeah, it's that old.

  2. Click the "Enter Site" link.

  3. In the pop-up window, drag the magnifying glass thingy left to City Hall, then click the Who Name bit.

Mine is Nostalgic Nuclear Tappy-two-Who.

Internet Sensations

Where are they now?

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

One week to go...

The presents are all purchased, the work load is small... what's a geek to do?

Go to this site and download Crayon Physics. It's an amazingly simple and fun game that will get your brain a-goin'. (And help pass the time until <squeeee> CHRISTMAS!)

Monday, December 17, 2007

Caption Contest

Caption contest

Doth thith color math my thirt?

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Caption Contest Winner

This week's winner is Raggedy Angst.

See the original image here.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Activity Corner

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Worst Headline Ever

As you may or may not know, singer, songwriter and pioneering rock musician Ike Turner passed away yesterday. The worst headline ever written in the history of printed news announced the fact on The New York Post:
Ike 'Beats" Tina to Death.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

World Domination, Part Deux

After the previous game of Risk, my officemate designed a new, local edition of Risk for us to play. Crappy cellphone picture, but you get the idea:

Risk, local edition

Christmas Tree... Solved!

All I need is one of these insta-trees and no more Christmas tree hassles!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

NSFW™

The term "not safe for work" and its corresponding initialism "NSFW" has been used for years on the web to indicate something that probably shouldn't be seen and/or heard at the office, or possibly even at home.

Now comes word that social networking site Fark.com has filed a US Trademark registration for the term.

That's the craziest thing since Microsoft® trademarked Windows® (but not windows).

Monday, December 10, 2007

Caption Contest

Caption contest

Before Proactiv; after Proactiv.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Caption Contest Winner

This week's winner is Rod. Nicely done!

See the original image here.

Friday, December 07, 2007

Activity Corner

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Yoda Pizza

Yoda pizza
Impressed me, they did, yeeesssss.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

The Yearly Rudolph

I can't help it, I love the Christmas special Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Trivia: It was first aired on December 6, 1964 on NBC. I watched it again last night (after not seeing it for a couple of years) and was reminded how timeless the story is even after 43 years. There are funny bits for young and old alike to enjoy. One thing is certain: Yukon Cornelius is the most badass inhabitant of Christmastown.

The only thing that struck me is the romance between Rudolph and Clarice. Why was she drawn to him? He did absolutely nothing to attract her; in fact, he was anything but enticing. Maybe he was some sort of buff-teen-idol-template reindeer, a fact that is lost on this human.

I found a lot of interesting facts about the show from its wikipedia entry.

My vote for best quote goes to this exchange:
  Yukon Cornelius: This fog is thick as peanut butter!
  Hermey: You mean "pea soup".
  Yukon Cornelius: You eat what you like, and I'll eat what I like!

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Soda Jerk

At my work there are large standing coolers loaded with soft drinks. You know the kind: sliding glass doors and lots of wire shelves. These coolers have cans stacked two-high on each shelf. That means a lot of cans.

Half-assed grab at a soda + wire shelves with perfectly-spaced gaps + domino theory = loud sustained crash as the ENTIRE SHELF of cans fall over inside the cooler.

Once the embarrassment of the moment is over, you realize with great relief that the loud crash handily masked the F-bomb you dropped.

Monday, December 03, 2007

O Tannen@&%$

This weekend I tried to put up my Christmas tree. It's pretty nice; about 3 feet tall, two pieces that snap together, a ton of lights already on it. Easy, right?

Apparently, not so much. The retarded stand (and I use that word loosely) just wouldn't stay together. The one time I thought I had it actually working, I snapped on the top half of the tree only to watch it lazily fall over as the stand slowly gave way.

Score so far: Christmas - 1, NT - 0.

Caption Contest

Caption contest

"Well, I used to be pretty open minded about things..."

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Caption Contest Winner

This week's winner is weebat, with a great tie-in to the Doors song.

See the original image here.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Twisted Review

I have a pretty wide selection of Christmas music. And, after listening to this album:
Twisted Christmas at Amazon.com
...I have to say, it's pretty good. Have a headbangin' holiday!

Activity Corner

Thursday, November 29, 2007

The Red Swingline

Classic red Swingline staplerI finally remembered to bring in the red Swingline stapler that Raggs got for me. It had been stashed in the box o' crap from my last job, and I kept forgetting about it. But now it's here. And everyone who comes in my office, without exception, 1) knows the reference, 2) comments on it, and 3) picks it up.

Time for a quote:

And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire...

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Flight of the Wayback Machine

I got together with a few work friends last night to watch the 1986 Disney movie Flight of the Navigator. It was funny because, while planning the get-together to watch it, everyone (and I mean everyone) had the exact same reaction: "OMG, I haven't seen that in forever!"

The movie, while somewhat cheesy by today's standards, and co-starring a very young Sarah Jessica Parker, was still entertaining. Sure, we hurled a few witty comments at the screen here and there, but overall it was enjoyable to watch. Trivia: Even though the voice of the spaceship is credited as "Paul Mall," it is actually Paul Reubens (Peewee Herman).

But we may have unleashed a monster. There is already talk of rockin' it old-school geek style with TRON, The Last Starfighter, and Wargames.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Holidays are Go!

Now that Black Friday and Cyber Monday are over, the holiday season is officially in full swing. I think my grandpa said it best, but then, he always did.

Here's an appropriate quote from Dave Barry:

"Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice."

Help keep yourself in the spirit by listening to the music as much as you can by finding your nearest holiday music format radio station.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Caption Contest

Caption contest

He always complained that faces came out of the rain...

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Caption Contest Winner

He may have won by default, but this week's winner is DK.

See the original image here.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Activity Corner

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving!

Or as I call it, National Eating Day. Thanksgiving is always the gold standard of overeating which I refer to throughout the year. "I'm full, but I'm not Thanksgiving full," is a common statement after a large meal.

So watch your parades, eat your traditional foods, and watch your football. Just remember to get to bed early, because tomorrow is Opening Day in the Professional Shopping League, and you have to get up early to compete!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Video Game Discovery

Tonight, The Discovery Channel begins its documentary series on video games with the first episode (titled, appropriately, Level One) at 8pm. See the ancient history that gave rise to an entire industry on Rise of the Video Game.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

My Eyes!

They repainted the walls at work using the colors from the product's logo. After seeing expanses of hallways visually assaulting you with the bright, unreal colors, it dawns on you why they're used so sparingly in the actual logo.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Caption Contest

Caption contest

New "face condom" all the rage among nerdy wookies.

Caption Contest Winner

The latest winner is DK. Funny caption!

See the original image here.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Activity Corner

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Halloween Leftovers

Dear guy down the hall,

You work with a bunch of geeks and nerds. Halloween was two weeks ago. That Halloween candy you still have in the bowl? Just throw it away. It's still sitting out because it sucks and no one wants it.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

The McPizza

Once again, Nuclear Toast Laboratories returns with a new cooksperiment. I can't take credit for the idea, since I saw it on the intartubes, but that didn't stop me from investigating this concept and bringing you the hard-hitting, gritty truth.

I love pizza. So any opportunity to try a new type of pizza is always welcome. And since this one doesn't seem to have any name, I've dubbed it "McPizza".

First, we need some ingredients. Boboli (whole wheat, of course), sauce, cheese, and... what? Mickey D's?
McPizza ingredients

The contents of the McD's bag: two cheeseburgers, medium fries, 4-piece chicken McNuggets. And, inexplicably, a straw.
The key toppings

Start with the Boboli crust.
Boboli

Add sauce, top with oregano.
Saucy!

It's me, so it has to be spicy, which means jalapenos.
Jalapenos!

Add the key McToppings.
McToppings!

Layer on the cheese.
Cheesy!

Close-up of some key ingredients.
Close-up!

Bake at 450 for about 15 minutes until the cheese starts getting crunchy around the edges. Here's the McPizza fresh out of the oven.
Lovin' from the oven!

I used a pizza cutter to slice up all the McGoodness.
Ready to serve!

Round-robin bite-taking to distribute the delicious taste sensations. Hamburger-y fry-y chicken-y pizza!
Mouthfulls of awesome!

To answer everyone's first question, it tastes exactly like you'd expect. Hamburger+pizza or french fries+pizza or chicken nugglets+pizza. That being said, this is one of the most awesome pizzas I've ever had, and believe me, I've put away my fair share. The pickles in the cheeseburger are a nice touch; the fries are just amazing this way, and the chicken McNuggets are surprisingly delicious. Maybe it's just the jalapenos.

The lab notes section:

  • This thing is really filling. Extremely filling. So a smaller pizza than you're used to will feed the normal crowd.

  • Smush the cheeseburgers in the wrapper before you put them on the pizza, so they're not as vertical.

  • I had to arrange the fries to get good coverage without a lot of holes or parts hanging over the edge.

  • Eating was a challenge, as the cheese helped make the toppings a layer that wanted to separate from the sauce/crust combination below. So taking a bite would cause the whole topping layer to rise up, pivoting at the bite point, and smack you in the nose. This is a sloppy-eating pizza.

  • Reheating was easy. One minute in the microwave, then about 8 minutes in the oven to restore the crispness.

Would I make the McPizza again? Oh HELL yes.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Trolley Trash

The Park and Ride at the work end of my daily bus commute is often host to discarded shopping carts. The nearest store is at least a quarter mile away, but the other day, there were five carts dumped in the greenery near the bus stops. One from Fred Meyer, one from Whole Foods, and three from Target.

What is wrong with people? Ok, I get it that the stores are a bit of a hike, and it's hard work to actually carry their purchases. Or do they buy so much that they can't carry it all? Either way, I think we're dealing with some serial shoppers here.

I wonder how (or even if) the carts make their way back to their respective stores. They do seem to disappear infrequently. But in my anger at people who, for whatever reason, fail to follow the etiquette of civil shopping, I derive a little pleasure thinking of those people at their destination as they unload all their loot off the bus onto the sidewalk, and then stand there staring at it, blinking as they gradually realize they have no way to get all their stuff home.

Sherpas are in such short supply these days!

Monday, November 12, 2007

Caption Contest

Caption contest

For first time in recorded history,
a music store employee is stoned.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Caption Contest Winner

This week's winner is me, since the two posted entries didn't quite make the cut. But hey, at least they tried, unlike the rest of... oh, I think you know who you are.

See the original image here.

Friday, November 09, 2007

World Domination

The throwdown (some items replaced to protect the guilty):

Here at [group], we’re hard at work daily preserving, for posterity, the inner workings of an empire destined for greater, bigger, and more inexplicably frustrating things than any of us dare to dream. Together with the tools team, we provide the rough but delicate wicker framework that undergirds the plump cushion of operations in the deck chair that is [product]. You think you know gaming, my friend? Pah! WE know gaming.

That is why the good people of [room number] have decided to extend the right hand of friendship and spirited competition to you (even while palming a dagger near our hips with our left) and invite you to experience the latest advancements in gaming technology. Lovers of real time strategy*, lucky rolls, long campaigns, bitter clashes of red vs. white dice, and all things warlike will find much to love as we embark on our new game together.

• Experience for yourself the thrill of rolling a two and still pulling out a victory when your opponent manages only a single dot on his own die!
• Be there as the tiny plastic cannon the size of Massachusetts becomes nine men, then seven, then six, then a horse!
• Feel the adrenaline course through your veins as you occupy the indefensible European continent!
• Own the indescribable feelings of shouting, “No! Not Irkutsk!” as the hordes swarm the border from Kamchatka!

All of these experiences and more can be yours! Yes, we are talking about Risk. If you think you’ve played long board games before, well, buckle up, Pardner, because this is going to be a long and bumpy ride like you’ve never seen. So use that paid ten minute break at 2:00 PDT today to attend our opening ceremonies. Choose your army (current options are The Armada Azul, The Crimson Scourge, The Negro (that’s nay-gro, you know, EspaƱol) Murder Militia, The Grey Matter, and Los Caballeros Villanos Amarillos, though naming rights can be purchased for a nominal fee), place your mans, and hold on for dear life. One or two turns per workday means weeks of inspiring battlefield bravery, heartwrenching drama, and daring invasions before the final die is cast. Be there, or be elsewhere.

The generals gathered and prepared to do battle. The first day's results (just setting up the armies):

Stay tuned...

*Note: This game is not real-time strategy.

Activity Corner

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Reflections on "Get a Life"

As a huge computer nerd, video gamer, and general all-around geek, I've heard my share of "Get a life!" from people. You know, the ones who think that exercise and socializing and exposure to daylight somehow make you a real person. Well, fear not, for my fellow geeks have come up with some fine ripostes to this standard put-down.

  • "I'll get a life when I determine it's better than the one I already have."

  • "Get a life? I'm a gamer, I have unlimited lives!"

  • "Get a life? I HAVE a life! It just so happens that escapism is a major part of it!"

So take that, you big meanies!

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Sleep is good for you?

Any health benefit your body derives by sleeping until it wakes up naturally is immediately negated by the near-heart-attack you suffer when you suddenly realize your alarm didn't go off, you've overslept, and you're now late.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

It's Not a Run, It's a Race

Raggs and I ran a 5k race on Sunday. You've got to admit, it's pretty impressive that the girl can 1) even get me away from the computer, and 2) get me to participate in organized athletics.

I am not competitive at all. Or so I thought, until I pinned a number to my shirt. Somehow that rectangle of tyvek turns you from an unconcerned participant into someone whose only goal is to pass the next person in front of you. Over and over. So we gathered in the early morning sea of spandex, ready to attack the course.

As the crowd surged away from the starting line, we noticed a runner with a leash. There was a taut blue line connecting a guy around 40 to a dark brown dachshund. "Oh man," we said to each other, "that's not right. He can't run the whole race with that little thing!"

We quickly entered the crowd, went around the first corner, through downtown, and then up the first mile's incline. We began passing those that fell prey to the Darwinian hill, knowing a nice downhill was ahead of us. Cresting, we let gravity help us pass even more, although Loud Breathing Guy used his amazing megaphone breath to practically override our autonomic best attempts at respiration.

Along the waterfront, we continued our assault on those ahead of us. As we passed the 3-mile mark, we looked up ahead to see a taut blue line. Dozens of yards in front of us, we could see the hyper little dog still straining against the leash. It followed an arc, running back and forth in front of the guy, legs pumping furiously, obviously being held back by its blue tether. I started laughing, and, out of breath from the run so far, found out what it feels like to laugh and gasp at the same time. It ain't pretty, people.

We pushed on to the end, only blocks away, and kicked it out to cross the finish line. We bettered our time from last year by about half a minute, and as we stood there, breathing hard, we saw the guy and his dachshund. His face was so red and he was panting so hard that I thought he might be about to have a heart attack. The dachshund, however, was not panting, and was obviously looking to go on, especially with all the runners crossing the finish line right in front of her. I think someone might be slipping a little crystal meth into the Alpo, if you catch my drift.

No matter how cute she was, and how much she let us pet her, there was no way around the truth. I was beaten by a speed demon weiner dog with, like, 4-inch legs.

It's a good thing I'm not competitive.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Caption Contest

Caption contest

"It's a bird. Check. It's a plane. Check. It's super...
Alright, where's the dude in the tights?"

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Caption Contest Winner

This week's winner is Andy. Nice Halloween-related caption, dude!

See the original image here.

Friday, November 02, 2007

Activity Corner

Thursday, November 01, 2007

And We're Off...

How was your Halloween, good? Got lots of extra candy around now, either at home, or the office, or both? It's so good, can't resist...

Halloween marks the beginning of the end-of-year calorie-athon. It starts with all the candy and treats destined for Trick-or-Treaters. Then we have the build-up to Thanksgiving, our national eating holiday. (I know that I personally have two levels of food bloat: full, and Thanksgiving full.) Add in the holiday parties for work and with friends, the non-stop cooking and goodies that show up throughout the season, and combine with the shorter, darker days and worsening weather, and the end result is something that makes you throw sheets over your mirrors and make one of those I'm-going-to-really-lose-weight-this-time New Year's resolutions.

I'll be good, right after one more peanut butter cup. Ok, two.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Happy Halloween Too

An early foreshadowing of "The Nightmare Before Christmas" and "The Corpse Bride" from Tim Burton:

Happy Halloween

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Super Tuber Review

Senator Larry Craig has endured a lot of ribbing for, among other things, coming up with a recipe involving sticking a weiner into a potato. We here at Nuclear Toast Laboratories like to look past the controversy and examine ideas on their own merits. Especially where food is involved. So I deliberately set out to recreate the Craigs' infamous recipe.

I prepared the meal several times, both in the microwave and conventional oven. Here is a pictorial progression of the most successful experiment.

First, cut both ends off the potato and use a corer to remove a hotdog-sized plug from the center.
Core the potato

Select your weiner. I used only the finest vegetarian soy dogs, but you can use whatever strikes your fancy.
Mmmm, tofu dogs!

Insert your weiner in the hole. Heh heh.
Insert your weiner

Insertion complete! (Sometimes you might have to carve out the hole a bit here and there.) Use toothpicks to re-attach the ends to the potato.
Tuber plugged

Put the potatoes on a cookie sheet and spray with Pam. (I was too lazy to coat them with shortening or butter; I figured this was an acceptable compromise. I was right.) The oven is set to 375.
All greased up and ready to go

This is the boring part.
Mmmm toasty warm

While they're cooking, prepare an acceptable topping. Mine was Safeway brand "Santa Fe Recipe" beans with some Tabasco Chipotle sauce.
Beans n chipoodle

When the super tubers are done, slice 'em up.
Almost there...

Spoon/pour your topping over the potatoes and serve. Nummy!
WOW THAT LOOKS GOOD

Things I learned:

  • I first tried dipping slices or pieces in mustard like the recipe says. The potatoes are too dry to eat with just a little mustard. Or even a lot. That's when I switched to beans. They have tasty juice and add some nutrition to the mix.

  • Cutting off the ends of the potato and re-attaching them with toothpicks worked better than just making a hole. The potatoes were moister that way, and then you get rid of the usually icky ends.

  • Microwaving is definitely faster. There was no discernable difference between the two methods, although the conventional oven might be easier for larger batches.
Would I do it again? Probably not. I like hotdogs and all, but it's not really worth the effort to cook them inside the potato when you can just add them to the beans for the same final effect. But it might be worthwhile stuffing a hollowed potato with other suitable fillers!

Monday, October 29, 2007

Cards Playing Cards

For Halloween, Raggs and I "dressed up" as the King and Queen of Hearts. Since we started out at our favorite gay pub, guess who was the Queen?

Picture of the costumes:
Card costumes
Picture of us wearing them:
Cards dressed as cards
Oh yeah, those are some badass costumes right there! Go ahead, be jealous, we won't mind.

Caption Contest

Caption contest

Puttin on the riiiiitttttzzzz!

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Caption Contest Winner

This week's winner is newcomer Tony Easton. Well done!

See the original image here.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Activity Corner

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Seen It!


I just bought this t-shirt. If you know me, you know how fitting (pun intended) it is.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Lava Lamp Primer

I have a lava lamp in my office. Ok, officially it's a LAVA® brand motion lamp, but I'll call it a lava lamp for ease of... calling it. Every day, I turn it on, and it gradually warms up to produce the familiar lava dance throughout the day.

However, there are distinct stages that the "lava" goes through before it finally reaches its lava-y goodness. Those of you that have one of your own will nod along with me. Those of you that don't, prepared to be enlightened.

Stage 1: Glowing Lump. When you first turn on the lava lamp, the lava is a darkened lump at the bottom, and the light illuminates the liquid from the sides of the glass container.

Stage 2: Brain Tentacle. At some point, a portion of the lava gets melted enough to overcome the lump's seal against the side of the glass container. The melted lava shoots up the side of the glass in a thin stream and forms a folded mass at the top, cooling almost instantly. The "brain" at the top, with the "tentacle" that connects it to the lump. This stage lasts for a while. Sometimes the tentacle breaks and the brain falls onto the lump, sometimes the brain remains through portions of the next stage.

Stage 3: Bubble Factory. The bottom of the lump continues to heat, while the top is cool. The heated lava eventually melts a small hole in the lump. The hole bloops out small spheres of lava almost continuously, which rise to the top of the glass container, cool, and fall back onto the lump, where they tend to stick and coalesce. The hole and the bloops get bigger, leading to the next stage.

Stage 4: Tree Trunk Tornado. The lump has melted, and the lava forms a column that extends the entire (or almost) length of the glass container. As lava is heated, it rises within the column; as it cools, it falls back to the bottom. The writhing column sometimes takes on the appearance of a twister, hence the name. This can be a fun "game" stage, as a rising hot blob can threaten to pinch the top off the trunk, only to have singularity restored in the nick of time by a falling cool portion. This stage lasts for a while.

Stage 5: Full-on Lava Love. The one we all know. Multiple blobs of lava rising, mingling about, and falling in the liquid. The interesting (and mesmerizing) aspect of this stage is that once the lava leaves the heat source at the bottom, a blob's surface tension is too great to combine with another blob. The only way to merge is to return to the light at the bottom and be re-heated.

One interesting tidbit I learned about lava lamps is that the shape is important. The narrower top causes the liquid inside to be subjected to more surface area per volume than at the bottom, allowing it to cool more quickly and aid the rising/falling cycle of the lava. Cool, huh?

This posting brought to you as a public service. The author has received no funding or remuneration from LAVA® brand motion lamps, Lava World Internation®, or Haggerty Enterprises, Inc.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Practice Safe Computing

Is your anti-virus software up to date? There's a Storm coming...

Art Imitates Life


Darn you, Scott Adams, for putting me in your comic strip!

Monday, October 22, 2007

Caption Contest

Caption contest

I don't get it...all I see are nose-hairs.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Caption Contest Winner

This week's winner is DK. Good job!

See the original image here.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Activity Corner

Thursday, October 18, 2007

My Nemesis

For those that haven't heard me go off in a while, let me refresh your memory.

I FRACKING HATE WORD.

And no, I don't feel better.

Stormy Weather

It's Storm Day 2007 in Seattle. The winds are picking up, and there have been dire predictions of power failures. The first one hit work this morning for a few minutes. And all it takes is a power failure to drive home just how awesome my laptop is. You know, because it has a battery.

As the entire building goes dark, except for my screen, I'm the only one on my floor who doesn't scream out in pain and anguish over lost work. Take that, suckas.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Open Letters to the Strangers in my Daily Life

Dear Lady in the Exercise Room,
     The TV has a million channels. Why the hell do you want to watch a friggin' infomercial? WHY? I'd kinda like to see the news and weather, rahter than painfully learn about a water filtration thingy or a bagel slicer. I tried to smile at you; did it work?

Dear Guy Who Wears Sunglasses Every Single Morning,
     Dude, it's October. Have you noticed that it's actually dark outside at 7am? Seriously, quit it.

Dear Bus Driver,
     What the hell? STOP SINGING.

Dear People Getting On the Bus,
     Stop looking at me that way. I got here first, it's my damn seat, move on back. Thank you.

Dear People at the Park-n-Ride,
     Every single friggin' morning, it's a surprise to you that I'm getting off the bus and have to walk through you. Move the hell out of the way; your bus isn't here yet. Thanks.

Dear Drivers Stuck in Traffic,
     Yes, I have to cross the road in front of you because there's no friggin' crosswalk. It's not like you're going anywhere any time soon. Just chill, m'kay?

Dear Cafeteria Manager,
     Dude, I don't know how you keep such a cheery disposition every single day, but keep it up. It may sound cheesy, but you light up my life, even if for a minute while I pay for my lunch. Rock on.

Dear People on the Stairs,
     They're STAIRS. That means other people will use them to go the opposite direction you're going. I thought you learned how these things work a looong time ago.

Dear Guys in the Bathroom,
     Come on, dudes, you're GUYS! Don't be afraid to giggle when someone lets out a massive fart. I know I'm not the only one. Guys normally find farts funny; it's even allowed in here because it's, you know, the bathroom. And it'd be less embarrassing if we all laughed. Just sayin'.

Dear Jerks That Are Too Lazy to Recycle,
     It's not like the bins aren't right outside of, oh I don't know, EVERYWHERE! Use them. It's not like the short walk is going to kill you. And most of you could use the exercise. Thanks.

Dear Shuttle Van Drivers,
     Excessive use of blinkers. Ever heard of the story The Boy Who Cried Wolf? Try decaf.

Dear Bus Driver,
     What the hell? STOP SINGING.

Dear People in the New High-Class Restaurant That Looks Out Over the Sidewalk,
     Hey, your table is right at my eye level. You wanted a window seat, that means while you look out, I get to look in. It also means I get to eye your food. And your cleavage too, lady. Bon appetit!
 

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

All Your Base

If you swim in geek circles, you likely know about the "All your base" phenomenon. (If you don't, the details and full transcript can be found at wikipedia.) But if you're a big geek like me, you know about Zero Wing and the "All your base" opening.

But if you're a supergeek, like someone at my work, you have a scrolling display in the hall outside your office looping through the entire thing.

(Crappy cellphone picture. Sorry.)

Monday, October 15, 2007

Caption Contest

Caption contest

Area teens enjoy a friendly game of "look like a dumbass".

Friday, October 12, 2007

Caption Contest Winner

This week's prize goes to apohle. Good one!

See the original image here.

Activity Corner

Thursday, October 11, 2007

The Irony of Cellphones

Why is it that it's always your cellphone that drops the call, and not the cellphone of the annoying jerk who talks too loud?

And speaking of cellphones, the next time you hear a ringtone so lame that it makes you laugh, remind yourself that someone chose it on purpose.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Who Shot First?

Any Stars Wars ner... er, enthusiast will tell you that before Lucas butchered their childhood memories with revisionist editing, that the lovable scamp Han Solo shot Greedo in the cantina. Variations of "Han shot first!" have popped up all over the web.

So I busted out laughing when I saw this derivative work. Click for more-big:
Who shot first?
Get your pre-order in at Half Pixel Stuff.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Quote Irony

I'm not one to make fun of someone's grief. Only what they say when they're grieving. So, and I quote, here goes:

"He would want everybody to know he died living the way he wanted to live."

It's ok. I'm already going to hell.

The "Rainy" Season

It's fall in the northwest, which means even more rain. And additional layers of clothing for warmth and dryness.

Fleece and Gore-Tex®, the peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich of outerwear.

Monday, October 08, 2007

Caption Contest

Caption contest

"Just gotta zip up and... HURK!"

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Caption Contest Winner

Hurley182 claims the prize again this week.

See the original image here.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Activity Corner

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Quote Roundup

After I was admonished by Raggs for stealing her blog post, I thought I'd continue blog mining. Here are a few things so funny that I wish I'd come up with them. Well maybe I did, but someone else did first.

Kyle Haight says:

You Know You're A Geek When...
... you're listening to a history lecture on the Reformation and you have to fight down the urge to ask the teacher why Superman didn't do anything to stop the spread of Lutheranism.

Tycho Brahe writes:

I picked up my copy of Phantom Hourglass yesterday, along with a Cinnabon, returning later to buy another Cinnabon for a "friend who really likes cinammon," proceeding to eat both in the front seat of my car, sometimes honking inadvertently.

Matthew Baldwin chimes in with:

July 25, 2007
2007 New Year's Resolution
Stop procrastinating.

And in a post seemingly tailor-made for me, Dong Resin asks:

Dawn of the Bread

Does bread know that it is bread? Or does it long to be wheat? At which point does it become toast? Is the moisture which escapes when you toast it the soul of the bread leaving dead toast behind?

Is the smell of toast in the kitchen a haunting by the long since bread?

A definition I like: Originality is the art of concealing your source. I guess I have to work on that a bit.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Laughing on the Job

When things catch me by surprise and are funny, I just bust out laughing. Sometimes I can manage to contain it, but usually my guffaws just gush forth. Such was the case when I got this message from Raggs, who is working an interesting job at the moment (in case you haven't been keeping up).

Raggedy Angst says:
     This is so going in my blog: Disney 3-pk. High School Musical Panties

That's right, I just blogged about what she was going to blog about. HA!

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Public Service Announcement

Here's something that's good to know. Don't run up two flights of stairs and then go into a heavily-used bathroom. That's not the kind of place that you want to be breathing hard. For several reasons.

Monday, October 01, 2007

New Wheels

The Mustang is no more. This weekend I slid into a new ride:
Civic Si
2007 Honda Civic Si. Six-speed, 197 horsepower, zero to grinning in 2.2 seconds. And not yellow.

Caption Contest

Caption contest

Ugh what a party. I'm never gonna do Milk shots again.
I don't even know who this lady is holding me.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Caption Contest Winner

This week the title goes to apohle. Grats!

See the original image here.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Activity Corner

Thursday, September 27, 2007

The Meme-ing of Life

How does one keep up with all the latest fads and memes on the intarwebs? I'm not sure; even though I spend a lot of time out there, I have a hard time staying current myself. But after the whole Chris Crocker "Leave Britney Alone" thing from last week, I thought I'd pass on a couple.

Rickrolled means being sent somewhere you weren't expecting and seeing the music video of Rick Astley's 1987 hit "Never Gonna Give You Up." So named because of his trademark dance move, or roll, in the video. Do you want to see some really cute puppies? Click here!

Chocolate rain refers to an amateur named Tay Zonday who uploaded his original song of the same title to YouTube in April. It's been viewed over 9 million times and has been the subject of hundreds of parodies. Once you watch it (his voice!) you'll be singing, "Chocolate raaaaiiiinnnn!"

Edit: I forgot to add the "OVER NINE THOUSAAAAANNNND" one. Whenever anyone gives a number, you have to pump it up to over 9000. The short clip made famous is Prince Vegeta from the anime series Dragon Ball Z.

And yes, it's true. Lolcats and YouTube are taking over the world.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Tastes Like Heart Attack!

For those that worship the bacon cheeseburger and the donut, your dreams have come true. A one-pound hamburger topped with bacon and cheese and sandwiched between two Krispy Kreme donuts, ostensibly invented by Luther Vandross, is now simply known as the Luther burger.

What is not clear, however, is how you unhinge your jaw to actually take a bite of this monstrosity.