Have a safe and sane evening. See you next year!
Monday, December 31, 2007
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Friday, December 28, 2007
- Have fun playing with the physics simulators. (You might have to scroll down to see the Flash animation.)
- Despite being stated as fact, these are actually medical myths.
- Your introduction to cluster ballooning.
- The top ten vegetarian-friendly prisons.
- What kind of tattoo to get? How about one for science?
- Test yourself and see if you can identify the sci-fi show or movie a sound clip is from at the Sci-Fi Sounds Quiz. (I scored 79 credits, whatever that means.)
- The Star Wars theme played on bagpipes.
- Crazy kitten loves water!
Sorry for the short list this week, not a lot happening on the intartubes, what with the holidays and all. See you next week to finish off 2007!
Posted by NuclearToast at 1:23 PM
Thursday, December 27, 2007
You know how so many items we purchase today come in those impossible-to-open sealed plastic packages? The ones where you try to cut them open with a pair of (pretty beefy) scissors or a bigass knife? Well, I got this cool Christmas present that is one of those it's-about-time sort of deals, the amazing plastic package opener!
The kicker? Guess how it was packaged.
Posted by NuclearToast at 9:04 AM
Monday, December 24, 2007
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007
- Design your own gaudy holiday sweater.
- The gingerbread house showcase.
- Maybe my next cooksperiment? Bacon chocolate chip cookies.
- When regular dollhouses are too mundane, turn to the crack row dollhouse.
- Sure, there are regular run-of-the-mill superheroes, but what about the less common heroes?
- The start of a new meme? This peanut looks like a duck.
- For those that love cheese, how about a nice chunk of this?
- Google is now searching and indexing computer code on the web. It has uncovered some interesting programmer profanity.
- A great short story: Security Question.
- How out-of-body illusions cause plane crashes. Seriously, 90 to 100 percent? Whoa.
- Bizarre and funny Windows errors.
- Have you played Guitar Hero? Maybe some Rock Band? Then you're all set to try your hand at Handbell Hero. (Seems like a perfect gather-round-the-computer activity for Christmas Day!)
- The Galactically Hot Women of Star Trek (the original series, of course).
- Create your own delightfully random holiday greeting with the Holiday-O-Matic.
- Vintage Soviet Christmast cards. "Ded Moroz" is the Russian name for Santa.
- Amazing video of a swimming sloth.
- Make your own virtual snowflake.
- I had no idea there were so many videos on YouTube of snow plow trains.
- If you've played Starcraft, you'll recognize these Starcraft origami.
- A final note for the holidays. If you live in Washington State, a reminder that, starting January 1st, 2008, ANY cellphone texting activity while driving is illegal. Remember, people, have a designated texter... don't text and drive.
Posted by NuclearToast at 11:31 AM
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Tomorrow we celebrate the Winter Solstice. Not celebrate as in dancing around trees like druid hippies, but celebrate as in the psychological victory of knowing that the days are going to start getting longer as we head inexorably towards summer. Yes, the first day of winter, and we're already thinking about summer.
Now, some might say, "But Nuke, my calendar says the first day of winter is Saturday!" Which is true if you live in an east-coast-centric universe. However, here in Seattle, winter starts at 10:08pm PST tomorrow night, so there.
Talk of the solstice got me to wondering. We all know that the first day of winter is the shortest day of the year (for most of us, anyway). But how do actual hours of sunlight/darkness map out to actual sunrise and sunset times? You might be surprised; I know I was.
According to this chart at the Pacific Science Center, the latest sunrise occurs in winter, at 7:58am, from December 30th through January 3rd. That's a good week after the solstice! Also, the summer solstice occurs around June 21st, but the latest sunset, at 9:11pm (don't forget to factor in Daylight Savings Time) goes from June 21st through June 30th.
Who says you can't learn anything from the internet?
Posted by NuclearToast at 2:23 PM
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
You know, from The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. Here's how you find out.
- Go to this site. Yeah, it's that old.
- Click the "Enter Site" link.
- In the pop-up window, drag the magnifying glass thingy left to City Hall, then click the Who Name bit.
Mine is Nostalgic Nuclear Tappy-two-Who.
Posted by NuclearToast at 3:41 PM
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Monday, December 17, 2007
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Friday, December 14, 2007
- I'm all for people trying to coordinate events throughout the world, but seriously, a global O?
- This guy even registered the domain name for all the crap in my wallet.
- Another one-off LOLvariant: Lol vogue.
- Flex your net nerd credentials by seeing how many HTML elements you can name in five minutes.
- Scans of vintage Christmas catalogs. Warning: extreme time sink.
- Road kill stuffed toys.
- 2 forks, 1 cup.
- A collection of modern birdhouses.
- A photoshop imagining of the worst Christmas albums.
- Tacky Christmas yards.
- Working at WalMart: the prank and revenge.
- Japanese manga (comic book read right to left): Enigma of the Amigara Fault.
- The blonde map of Europe.
- Next time you record yourself dancing, leave out the dog.
- Star Wars, the Baroque version.
Posted by NuclearToast at 10:46 AM
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
The term "not safe for work" and its corresponding initialism "NSFW" has been used for years on the web to indicate something that probably shouldn't be seen and/or heard at the office, or possibly even at home.
Now comes word that social networking site Fark.com has filed a US Trademark registration for the term.
That's the craziest thing since Microsoft® trademarked Windows® (but not windows).
Posted by NuclearToast at 10:35 AM
Monday, December 10, 2007
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Friday, December 07, 2007
- Screenshots of water effects in video games over the years. Now in German!
- 12 Things I Learned from TV Court Shows.
- An interesting demonstration of motion-induced blindness.
- What is the deal with social networking sites? They keep popping up like things that pop up all the time. Are the creators of these sites innovating, or running out of ideas? You be the judge when you peruse Listography.
- Christmas gift-giving can be hard if you don't know what to get someone. So take the safe route and get them some crap at a place like Waste Some Cash.
- Hmmm, which science t-shirt is best for me?
- All of the geeks I know are a combination of individual geeks from the 56 Geeks poster. You can buy one here.
- Wow, get your very own Flux Capacitor! (DeLorean sold separately.)
- Take what appears to be a Volkswagen Golf, strip it down to all its constituent parts, and then photograph the result.
- The Barbie MP3 Player, complete with self-esteem-building mirror!
- What's the worst part of the airport security check? Walking around in your socks while your shoes get xrayed. That may soon be a thing of the past with the MagShoe device. Yay!
- Model-builders showcase their talents at the Starship Modeler Wrecks Contest.
- Dear Santa: YES PLEASE!
- Old-style 80s brick mobile phones are back "in"! Ok maybe not exactly like the 80s, since this one is 4.3 by 1.4 INCHES, but still.
- Macrophotography plus consumer "meat" products equals mystery meat.
- You know you're an artistic geek when you use the Halo 3 map editor to make a self-portrait.
- Americans love lists.
- Dead leaves from real New York trees.
- Bizarre Christmas albums.
- Evel Knievel passed away last week. As a daredevil, he paid the price with an extensive list of injuries.
- The homespun analogy generator.
- Some things I just don't understand. Like wanting to hang big-game trophies in your house, but not by killing actual animals. Somehow, you can make it all better by using plush stuffed trophies.
Edit: Don't forget the throw rugs.
- Wrapping someone's office or apartment in aluminum foil isn't new, but that doesn't make the feat any less awesome. See the amazing aluminum apartment.
- The Klein Four Group performs their creative 12 Days of Christmas.
- Christmas tree roundup: The Grinch, Charlie Brown, bookshelf tree, 350-tree tree.
Posted by NuclearToast at 11:44 AM
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
I can't help it, I love the Christmas special Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Trivia: It was first aired on December 6, 1964 on NBC. I watched it again last night (after not seeing it for a couple of years) and was reminded how timeless the story is even after 43 years. There are funny bits for young and old alike to enjoy. One thing is certain: Yukon Cornelius is the most badass inhabitant of Christmastown.
The only thing that struck me is the romance between Rudolph and Clarice. Why was she drawn to him? He did absolutely nothing to attract her; in fact, he was anything but enticing. Maybe he was some sort of buff-teen-idol-template reindeer, a fact that is lost on this human.
I found a lot of interesting facts about the show from its wikipedia entry.
My vote for best quote goes to this exchange:
Yukon Cornelius: This fog is thick as peanut butter!
Hermey: You mean "pea soup".
Yukon Cornelius: You eat what you like, and I'll eat what I like!
Posted by NuclearToast at 3:15 PM
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
At my work there are large standing coolers loaded with soft drinks. You know the kind: sliding glass doors and lots of wire shelves. These coolers have cans stacked two-high on each shelf. That means a lot of cans.
Half-assed grab at a soda + wire shelves with perfectly-spaced gaps + domino theory = loud sustained crash as the ENTIRE SHELF of cans fall over inside the cooler.
Once the embarrassment of the moment is over, you realize with great relief that the loud crash handily masked the F-bomb you dropped.
Posted by NuclearToast at 2:42 PM
Monday, December 03, 2007
This weekend I tried to put up my Christmas tree. It's pretty nice; about 3 feet tall, two pieces that snap together, a ton of lights already on it. Easy, right?
Apparently, not so much. The retarded stand (and I use that word loosely) just wouldn't stay together. The one time I thought I had it actually working, I snapped on the top half of the tree only to watch it lazily fall over as the stand slowly gave way.
Score so far: Christmas - 1, NT - 0.
Posted by NuclearToast at 4:15 PM
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Friday, November 30, 2007
- Mr. Eyegas has issues with Brussels sprouts. In 2005, he cracked us up with the simple (and seemingly unending) game Attack of the Sprouts. This year, he's back with the scatalogical sequel, Christmas with the Sproutifarts.
- Is it a blog? Yes, sort of. But the URL says it all at Is It Christmas.
- It's all over the intertron, so I might as well have it, too. Money shots.
- It's closer to Christmas than to Easter, but it's still funny. Three ways to melt chocolate bunnies.
- Kids love to jump on beds.
- Stir-fried Wikipedia.
- Seven incredible natural phenomena you've never seen.
- Most people seem to dislike lawyers. Is there a reason for this? Apparently so. Why you shouldn't go to law school.
- Proving that there's never enough testosterone in the world, idiots go 219 on the 202.
- One thing we all complain about is how hard it is to eat a snack while on our bicycles. Well, complain no more.
- The strongest beer in the U.S.
- Remember the YouTube oddity, Chocolate Rain? Now Dr. Pepper has produced a music video for their new flavor, Cherry Chocolate Rain.
- The ten most famous ciphers and writing systems that are still unsolved.
- An amusing distraction: feed your pet goldfish.
- Have you downloaded music from the internet without paying for it and still feel bad about it? Now you can buy back your guilt at Dear Rockers.
- Scary-ass Mary Poppins.
Posted by NuclearToast at 10:13 AM
Thursday, November 29, 2007
I finally remembered to bring in the red Swingline stapler that Raggs got for me. It had been stashed in the box o' crap from my last job, and I kept forgetting about it. But now it's here. And everyone who comes in my office, without exception, 1) knows the reference, 2) comments on it, and 3) picks it up.
Time for a quote:
And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire...
Posted by NuclearToast at 11:27 AM
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
I got together with a few work friends last night to watch the 1986 Disney movie Flight of the Navigator. It was funny because, while planning the get-together to watch it, everyone (and I mean everyone) had the exact same reaction: "OMG, I haven't seen that in forever!"
The movie, while somewhat cheesy by today's standards, and co-starring a very young Sarah Jessica Parker, was still entertaining. Sure, we hurled a few witty comments at the screen here and there, but overall it was enjoyable to watch. Trivia: Even though the voice of the spaceship is credited as "Paul Mall," it is actually Paul Reubens (Peewee Herman).
But we may have unleashed a monster. There is already talk of rockin' it old-school geek style with TRON, The Last Starfighter, and Wargames.
Posted by NuclearToast at 10:34 AM
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Now that Black Friday and Cyber Monday are over, the holiday season is officially in full swing. I think my grandpa said it best, but then, he always did.
Here's an appropriate quote from Dave Barry:
"Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice."
Help keep yourself in the spirit by listening to the music as much as you can by finding your nearest holiday music format radio station.
Posted by NuclearToast at 10:27 AM
Monday, November 26, 2007
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Friday, November 23, 2007
- Imaginative photographs created by using a different perspective at dreams of flying.
- Proving you can improve your vocabulary while enjoying gratuitous female objectification, it's 9 words that don't mean what you think.
- In the 70s there was a Saturday morning TV show, patterned after the popular show Get Smart, called Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp. It was all live-action chimpanzees. And since every show had to have a band, they had Lancelot and the Evolution Revolution.
- You've seen the angry German gamer kid. Right here on the NT blog, you've seen the beauty contestant's Star Wars Theme on her trumpet. Put the two together and you get the angry German Star Wars mashup.
- Is "Black Friday" the busiest shopping day of the year? Actually, no, it's not.
- The procrastination flowchart.
- Do all your best idea doodling on a cocktail napkin? Then you'll want a napkin notebook.
- Are you a whiz at HTML? Then take this little quiz which asks How Many HTML Elements Can You Name in 5 Minutes?
- If you make a mix CD for that special someone this holiday season, don't put it in a regular old plastic things. Put it in an origami CD case.
- If you ever want to be on survivor, or just win a bet, you'll be interested in bugs you can eat.
- What's an environmentalist do when he wants his own island? He builds it. Welcome to Spiral Island.
- 10 Awful Words and the People They’re Named For.
- Star Trek’s 10 Cheesiest Classic Creatures.
- How many characters can you name from the cult movie picture?
- Frustrate yourself with your geographical knowledge at How well do you know the world?
- The 25 greatest viral videos ever (so far).
- What if Abraham Lincoln were a CEO today? He'd probably deliver the Gettysburg Powerpoint Presentation.
- It's too much work for me, but you might enjoy a bacon-wrapped turkey.
- What is the reading level of your blog? Surprisingly, this one checked in as "College (undergrad)".
Posted by NuclearToast at 2:02 PM
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Or as I call it, National Eating Day. Thanksgiving is always the gold standard of overeating which I refer to throughout the year. "I'm full, but I'm not Thanksgiving full," is a common statement after a large meal.
So watch your parades, eat your traditional foods, and watch your football. Just remember to get to bed early, because tomorrow is Opening Day in the Professional Shopping League, and you have to get up early to compete!
Posted by NuclearToast at 7:50 AM
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Monday, November 19, 2007
Friday, November 16, 2007
- Everyone would love to prank a telemarketer like this.
- Are the Rocky movies cliche? Well, they can be summed up fairly well: Rocky in 5 seconds.
- I'm not sure how useful it is as a dictionary, but it's an interesting visual thesaurus: Visuwords.
- How to win at Monopoly a surefire strategy.
- A Saturday Night Live piece that never aired: The iPhone Ad.
- Winter is coming, and you know how cold your hands can get. Help keep them warm with a heated keyboard.
- The alphabet of geeky horror.
- An interesting collection of abandoned swimming pools.
- Colleen loves giraffes so much that she got a connect-the-dots tattoo.
- A compendium of 150 Monty Python sketches.
- An art exhibition showcasing zombie heads made out of felt.
- Back in 1946, drowning was a major, preventable cause of death. In this Popular Mechanics article, check out page 3 for the before-CPR "Eve method".
- Pac-Man + Super Mario Brothers = PacMario!
- Just in case you haven't seen it, here's the ghostly gas station cloud.
- This one's all over the tubes too. Take a Bollywood movie song, subtitle it with what you think they're saying, and you have My Loony Bun is Fine Benny Lava.
- The true Da Vinci code.
- What the hell is the monkeysphere?
- Love on the internet: the Halo 3 wedding proposal.
- Star Trek phaser "toy" + Blu-Ray laser diode = DIY Star Trek Phaser.
- Dancing Stormtrooper in Tokyo.
- Great t-shirt: Yes, I am quietly judging you.
- Geekiest football halftime show ever.
Posted by NuclearToast at 1:36 PM
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Once again, Nuclear Toast Laboratories returns with a new cooksperiment. I can't take credit for the idea, since I saw it on the intartubes, but that didn't stop me from investigating this concept and bringing you the hard-hitting, gritty truth.
I love pizza. So any opportunity to try a new type of pizza is always welcome. And since this one doesn't seem to have any name, I've dubbed it "McPizza".
First, we need some ingredients. Boboli (whole wheat, of course), sauce, cheese, and... what? Mickey D's?
The contents of the McD's bag: two cheeseburgers, medium fries, 4-piece chicken McNuggets. And, inexplicably, a straw.
Start with the Boboli crust.
Add sauce, top with oregano.
It's me, so it has to be spicy, which means jalapenos.
Add the key McToppings.
Layer on the cheese.
Close-up of some key ingredients.
Bake at 450 for about 15 minutes until the cheese starts getting crunchy around the edges. Here's the McPizza fresh out of the oven.
I used a pizza cutter to slice up all the McGoodness.
Round-robin bite-taking to distribute the delicious taste sensations. Hamburger-y fry-y chicken-y pizza!
To answer everyone's first question, it tastes exactly like you'd expect. Hamburger+pizza or french fries+pizza or chicken nugglets+pizza. That being said, this is one of the most awesome pizzas I've ever had, and believe me, I've put away my fair share. The pickles in the cheeseburger are a nice touch; the fries are just amazing this way, and the chicken McNuggets are surprisingly delicious. Maybe it's just the jalapenos.
The lab notes section:
- This thing is really filling. Extremely filling. So a smaller pizza than you're used to will feed the normal crowd.
- Smush the cheeseburgers in the wrapper before you put them on the pizza, so they're not as vertical.
- I had to arrange the fries to get good coverage without a lot of holes or parts hanging over the edge.
- Eating was a challenge, as the cheese helped make the toppings a layer that wanted to separate from the sauce/crust combination below. So taking a bite would cause the whole topping layer to rise up, pivoting at the bite point, and smack you in the nose. This is a sloppy-eating pizza.
- Reheating was easy. One minute in the microwave, then about 8 minutes in the oven to restore the crispness.
Would I make the McPizza again? Oh HELL yes.
Posted by NuclearToast at 8:48 AM
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
The Park and Ride at the work end of my daily bus commute is often host to discarded shopping carts. The nearest store is at least a quarter mile away, but the other day, there were five carts dumped in the greenery near the bus stops. One from Fred Meyer, one from Whole Foods, and three from Target.
What is wrong with people? Ok, I get it that the stores are a bit of a hike, and it's hard work to actually carry their purchases. Or do they buy so much that they can't carry it all? Either way, I think we're dealing with some serial shoppers here.
I wonder how (or even if) the carts make their way back to their respective stores. They do seem to disappear infrequently. But in my anger at people who, for whatever reason, fail to follow the etiquette of civil shopping, I derive a little pleasure thinking of those people at their destination as they unload all their loot off the bus onto the sidewalk, and then stand there staring at it, blinking as they gradually realize they have no way to get all their stuff home.
Sherpas are in such short supply these days!
Posted by NuclearToast at 10:53 AM
Monday, November 12, 2007
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Friday, November 09, 2007
The throwdown (some items replaced to protect the guilty):
Here at [group], we’re hard at work daily preserving, for posterity, the inner workings of an empire destined for greater, bigger, and more inexplicably frustrating things than any of us dare to dream. Together with the tools team, we provide the rough but delicate wicker framework that undergirds the plump cushion of operations in the deck chair that is [product]. You think you know gaming, my friend? Pah! WE know gaming.
That is why the good people of [room number] have decided to extend the right hand of friendship and spirited competition to you (even while palming a dagger near our hips with our left) and invite you to experience the latest advancements in gaming technology. Lovers of real time strategy*, lucky rolls, long campaigns, bitter clashes of red vs. white dice, and all things warlike will find much to love as we embark on our new game together.
• Experience for yourself the thrill of rolling a two and still pulling out a victory when your opponent manages only a single dot on his own die!
• Be there as the tiny plastic cannon the size of Massachusetts becomes nine men, then seven, then six, then a horse!
• Feel the adrenaline course through your veins as you occupy the indefensible European continent!
• Own the indescribable feelings of shouting, “No! Not Irkutsk!” as the hordes swarm the border from Kamchatka!
All of these experiences and more can be yours! Yes, we are talking about Risk. If you think you’ve played long board games before, well, buckle up, Pardner, because this is going to be a long and bumpy ride like you’ve never seen. So use that paid ten minute break at 2:00 PDT today to attend our opening ceremonies. Choose your army (current options are The Armada Azul, The Crimson Scourge, The Negro (that’s nay-gro, you know, Español) Murder Militia, The Grey Matter, and Los Caballeros Villanos Amarillos, though naming rights can be purchased for a nominal fee), place your mans, and hold on for dear life. One or two turns per workday means weeks of inspiring battlefield bravery, heartwrenching drama, and daring invasions before the final die is cast. Be there, or be elsewhere.
The generals gathered and prepared to do battle. The first day's results (just setting up the armies):
*Note: This game is not real-time strategy.
Posted by NuclearToast at 2:41 PM
- Anybody like Henry Rollins? Wonder what he's like just hanging out at home?
- From the Department of WTF is a lady who trained her cat to eat with a fork.
- Hippie vandals use green graffiti.
- Sorry, Seattle. The most caffeinated city is Chicago.
- Why are they called "trailers" if they're shown before the movie?
- 25 photographs taken at exactly the right time.
- 3D chess? Boring. You want a 3D game that is fast-paced and almost requires drinking, like 3D Pool.
- "I played D&D for the CIA."
- In response to the guy selling one of the largest video game collections ever, check out the world's most expensive video games.
- The Discovery Channel is running a documentary series called The Rise of the Videogame.
- One of the hottest laptops on the market is the smallest and lowest cost: the Eee PC.
- While this video is labeled as "iceberg collapse," it's actually the terminus of the Perito Moreno Glacier in Argentina's Los Glaciares National Park. But the awesome video is still amazing.
- This cat loves his horse.
- Take music cover art, overlay them into a collage-like image, and you have matching album covers.
- It's been said that the lottery is a tax on people who aren't good at math. Definitive proof?
- The Leaning Tower of Pisa is no longer the leaningest.
- MC Hammer? Can't sew this!
- Wired magazine's saddest cubicle contest.
- The Dutch shopping site isn't online yet, but their "Coming Soon" page is very clever. Don't do anything, just click the link and watch the fun.
- Some people haven't yet seen the most amazing last-second football play ever.
- Geeks like to customize things. So how about your own customizable welcome mat?
Posted by NuclearToast at 9:56 AM
Thursday, November 08, 2007
As a huge computer nerd, video gamer, and general all-around geek, I've heard my share of "Get a life!" from people. You know, the ones who think that exercise and socializing and exposure to daylight somehow make you a real person. Well, fear not, for my fellow geeks have come up with some fine ripostes to this standard put-down.
- "I'll get a life when I determine it's better than the one I already have."
- "Get a life? I'm a gamer, I have unlimited lives!"
- "Get a life? I HAVE a life! It just so happens that escapism is a major part of it!"
So take that, you big meanies!
Posted by NuclearToast at 2:05 PM
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Raggs and I ran a 5k race on Sunday. You've got to admit, it's pretty impressive that the girl can 1) even get me away from the computer, and 2) get me to participate in organized athletics.
I am not competitive at all. Or so I thought, until I pinned a number to my shirt. Somehow that rectangle of tyvek turns you from an unconcerned participant into someone whose only goal is to pass the next person in front of you. Over and over. So we gathered in the early morning sea of spandex, ready to attack the course.
As the crowd surged away from the starting line, we noticed a runner with a leash. There was a taut blue line connecting a guy around 40 to a dark brown dachshund. "Oh man," we said to each other, "that's not right. He can't run the whole race with that little thing!"
We quickly entered the crowd, went around the first corner, through downtown, and then up the first mile's incline. We began passing those that fell prey to the Darwinian hill, knowing a nice downhill was ahead of us. Cresting, we let gravity help us pass even more, although Loud Breathing Guy used his amazing megaphone breath to practically override our autonomic best attempts at respiration.
Along the waterfront, we continued our assault on those ahead of us. As we passed the 3-mile mark, we looked up ahead to see a taut blue line. Dozens of yards in front of us, we could see the hyper little dog still straining against the leash. It followed an arc, running back and forth in front of the guy, legs pumping furiously, obviously being held back by its blue tether. I started laughing, and, out of breath from the run so far, found out what it feels like to laugh and gasp at the same time. It ain't pretty, people.
We pushed on to the end, only blocks away, and kicked it out to cross the finish line. We bettered our time from last year by about half a minute, and as we stood there, breathing hard, we saw the guy and his dachshund. His face was so red and he was panting so hard that I thought he might be about to have a heart attack. The dachshund, however, was not panting, and was obviously looking to go on, especially with all the runners crossing the finish line right in front of her. I think someone might be slipping a little crystal meth into the Alpo, if you catch my drift.
No matter how cute she was, and how much she let us pet her, there was no way around the truth. I was beaten by a speed demon weiner dog with, like, 4-inch legs.
It's a good thing I'm not competitive.
Posted by NuclearToast at 10:28 AM
Monday, November 05, 2007
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Friday, November 02, 2007
- When you're a girl with both fashion sense and an NRA membership, where do you shop for hardware? Why, at GlamGuns.com, of course!
- The Advil Taste Test Challenge.
- First came snipurl for making long, complicated URLs shorter and easier to use. Then along came DecentURL. But with a tag line of "Because bigger is better, right?" you can get your Brobdingnagian on with HugeURL.
- Why play CDs in a boombox or stereo device when you can go all Liberace with the Cathay piano CD player.
- What happens when someone takes instructions too literally. Apparently, this.
- Start preparing for Halloween next year by following this easy how-to for making a head in a jar.
- More than you ever wanted to know about the official rock song of the state of Washingon, Louie Louie.
- It's tough being a kid. Share the shame at Mortified.
- Make your very own Pumpkin Pi.
- Dark Roasted Blend has a great set of pictures titled Heavy Machinery Acrobatics.
- Halloween costume that's a YouTube video.
- Don't make up your own excuse for missing work, let the pros at the Excused Absence Network.
- HG Wells' classic The War of the Worlds has been in print for over 100 years. Celebrate the diversity in this online book cover collection.
- Darth Vader in love.
- How can someone look so bored while being so good at rollerblade freestyle?
- Disney's Small World ride has to be revamped due to what can only be described as delicious irony.
- Susan makes custom creepy dolls. The gallery starts here.
- Pictures of the steampunk flux capacitor.
- Yes, someone cares enough to write about the art of sharpening pencils.
- I'm not sure what it specifically has to do with HP Lovecraft, but it's still a cool poster.
- In the ongoing arms race for new deep fried foods at fairs, the new weapon is the peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
- Too late for Halloween, but just in time for winter weather, comes the bloody saw scarf.
- The interesting story of the crabs of Christmas Island.
Posted by NuclearToast at 10:25 AM
Thursday, November 01, 2007
How was your Halloween, good? Got lots of extra candy around now, either at home, or the office, or both? It's so good, can't resist...
Halloween marks the beginning of the end-of-year calorie-athon. It starts with all the candy and treats destined for Trick-or-Treaters. Then we have the build-up to Thanksgiving, our national eating holiday. (I know that I personally have two levels of food bloat: full, and Thanksgiving full.) Add in the holiday parties for work and with friends, the non-stop cooking and goodies that show up throughout the season, and combine with the shorter, darker days and worsening weather, and the end result is something that makes you throw sheets over your mirrors and make one of those I'm-going-to-really-lose-weight-this-time New Year's resolutions.
I'll be good, right after one more peanut butter cup. Ok, two.
Posted by NuclearToast at 11:22 AM
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Senator Larry Craig has endured a lot of ribbing for, among other things, coming up with a recipe involving sticking a weiner into a potato. We here at Nuclear Toast Laboratories like to look past the controversy and examine ideas on their own merits. Especially where food is involved. So I deliberately set out to recreate the Craigs' infamous recipe.
I prepared the meal several times, both in the microwave and conventional oven. Here is a pictorial progression of the most successful experiment.
First, cut both ends off the potato and use a corer to remove a hotdog-sized plug from the center.
Select your weiner. I used only the finest vegetarian soy dogs, but you can use whatever strikes your fancy.
Insert your weiner in the hole. Heh heh.
Insertion complete! (Sometimes you might have to carve out the hole a bit here and there.) Use toothpicks to re-attach the ends to the potato.
Put the potatoes on a cookie sheet and spray with Pam. (I was too lazy to coat them with shortening or butter; I figured this was an acceptable compromise. I was right.) The oven is set to 375.
This is the boring part.
While they're cooking, prepare an acceptable topping. Mine was Safeway brand "Santa Fe Recipe" beans with some Tabasco Chipotle sauce.
When the super tubers are done, slice 'em up.
Spoon/pour your topping over the potatoes and serve. Nummy!
Things I learned:
- I first tried dipping slices or pieces in mustard like the recipe says. The potatoes are too dry to eat with just a little mustard. Or even a lot. That's when I switched to beans. They have tasty juice and add some nutrition to the mix.
- Cutting off the ends of the potato and re-attaching them with toothpicks worked better than just making a hole. The potatoes were moister that way, and then you get rid of the usually icky ends.
- Microwaving is definitely faster. There was no discernable difference between the two methods, although the conventional oven might be easier for larger batches.
Posted by NuclearToast at 9:12 AM
Monday, October 29, 2007
For Halloween, Raggs and I "dressed up" as the King and Queen of Hearts. Since we started out at our favorite gay pub, guess who was the Queen?
Picture of the costumes:
Picture of us wearing them:
Oh yeah, those are some badass costumes right there! Go ahead, be jealous, we won't mind.
Posted by NuclearToast at 10:22 AM
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
- The five creepiest urban legends (that happen to be true) make great Halloween stories.
- Don't have a pumpkin but still want a jack-o-lantern? Then use this handy carve a pumpking flash.
- It seems that fall is the time for bed and breakfast weekend trips. If you're planning one, you might want to visit historic Shrute Farm. (I love how there are over 300 comments, all entered in the last two weeks.)
- You know, I love it when our government uses taxpayer resources to inform and educate. (And somebody should tell Tipsy McDrunksalot on the left there that his glasses, or eyes, aren't on straight.)
- Another just-in-time-for-Halloween link, Candy and Chocolate Bars Compared. I'm going with Smarties.
- In the Things That Come From Computers department, we have the Icon Notepad and the Keypad Calculator.
- From Andy, a great Halloween game, Zombie Golf Riot.
- The best and worst logo remakes.
- Another Halloween-themed look-see. When I came across the link for SkinBag, I thought it looked familiar. Yep, my "Seen it" site has it listed in March 2005. Check out the gallery for more synthetic skin products.
- A creepy animation that lets you relax and burn through your day at work: Depth of Field Test 5. You can also try Tests 4, 6, and 7.
- Eight of the world's most unusual plants.
- Incredible can throwing skills.
- Fifteen famous ghost pictures.
- Proving that nothing is beneath blogging, it's the Great Pizza Orientation Test.
- Long-time geeks will enjoy a trip down memory lane with Windows startup screens and sounds.
- From the Department of WTF comes a viral video for Alfa Romeo: Sloth on a Date.
- More Halloween stuff. The Horror Movie Trivia Quiz.
- A cornucopia of wasted time can be seen in the totally awesome Super Stars of teh Internet. It's also a compilation of my geekery and an acknowledgement that I've clicked into far too many distant corners of the intarwebs.
- Penguin poop.
- Embarrassing movie posters.
- If America's greatest presidents were members of the Fantastic Four, they'd look like this.
- And, lastly, a Friday game: Cubicle Freakout.
Posted by NuclearToast at 11:44 AM
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
I have a lava lamp in my office. Ok, officially it's a LAVA® brand motion lamp, but I'll call it a lava lamp for ease of... calling it. Every day, I turn it on, and it gradually warms up to produce the familiar lava dance throughout the day.
However, there are distinct stages that the "lava" goes through before it finally reaches its lava-y goodness. Those of you that have one of your own will nod along with me. Those of you that don't, prepared to be enlightened.
Stage 1: Glowing Lump. When you first turn on the lava lamp, the lava is a darkened lump at the bottom, and the light illuminates the liquid from the sides of the glass container.
Stage 2: Brain Tentacle. At some point, a portion of the lava gets melted enough to overcome the lump's seal against the side of the glass container. The melted lava shoots up the side of the glass in a thin stream and forms a folded mass at the top, cooling almost instantly. The "brain" at the top, with the "tentacle" that connects it to the lump. This stage lasts for a while. Sometimes the tentacle breaks and the brain falls onto the lump, sometimes the brain remains through portions of the next stage.
Stage 3: Bubble Factory. The bottom of the lump continues to heat, while the top is cool. The heated lava eventually melts a small hole in the lump. The hole bloops out small spheres of lava almost continuously, which rise to the top of the glass container, cool, and fall back onto the lump, where they tend to stick and coalesce. The hole and the bloops get bigger, leading to the next stage.
Stage 4: Tree Trunk Tornado. The lump has melted, and the lava forms a column that extends the entire (or almost) length of the glass container. As lava is heated, it rises within the column; as it cools, it falls back to the bottom. The writhing column sometimes takes on the appearance of a twister, hence the name. This can be a fun "game" stage, as a rising hot blob can threaten to pinch the top off the trunk, only to have singularity restored in the nick of time by a falling cool portion. This stage lasts for a while.
Stage 5: Full-on Lava Love. The one we all know. Multiple blobs of lava rising, mingling about, and falling in the liquid. The interesting (and mesmerizing) aspect of this stage is that once the lava leaves the heat source at the bottom, a blob's surface tension is too great to combine with another blob. The only way to merge is to return to the light at the bottom and be re-heated.
One interesting tidbit I learned about lava lamps is that the shape is important. The narrower top causes the liquid inside to be subjected to more surface area per volume than at the bottom, allowing it to cool more quickly and aid the rising/falling cycle of the lava. Cool, huh?
This posting brought to you as a public service. The author has received no funding or remuneration from LAVA® brand motion lamps, Lava World Internation®, or Haggerty Enterprises, Inc.
Posted by NuclearToast at 1:41 PM
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Friday, October 19, 2007
- Blessed Virgin Mary USB thumb drive, now with beating heart action!
- Lolcats continue their takeover of the intarwebs. The latest effort is the LOLCat Bible Translation Project.
- Crazy cat workout.
- How can the same tone be different each time you hear it? Check out the amazing audio illusion.
- I'm not much of a fan of country music, but it's hard to resist when I'm so much cooler online.
- The upcoming Tokyo Motor Show's dreamy concept cars.
- USB flash drives keep getting bigger. It may be pricy, but check out the new DiskGO 32GB.
- Look, Rod! It's a keyboard made out of wood!
- Stephen Colbert is running for President.
- What are the emotions that run your life? Find out at Brain Scanner.
- Scientists sure publish some weird papers. Such as Safe and Painless Manipulation of Penile Zipper Entrapment.
- Gallery of modified Pez dispensers.
- Really? Designer cinder blocks? Huh.
- It's the Enter the Matrix case mod.
- A tale from when being fat was admired.
- Creepy stretchy skin kid.
Posted by NuclearToast at 1:41 PM
Thursday, October 18, 2007
It's Storm Day 2007 in Seattle. The winds are picking up, and there have been dire predictions of power failures. The first one hit work this morning for a few minutes. And all it takes is a power failure to drive home just how awesome my laptop is. You know, because it has a battery.
As the entire building goes dark, except for my screen, I'm the only one on my floor who doesn't scream out in pain and anguish over lost work. Take that, suckas.
Posted by NuclearToast at 11:14 AM
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Dear Lady in the Exercise Room,
The TV has a million channels. Why the hell do you want to watch a friggin' infomercial? WHY? I'd kinda like to see the news and weather, rahter than painfully learn about a water filtration thingy or a bagel slicer. I tried to smile at you; did it work?
Dear Guy Who Wears Sunglasses Every Single Morning,
Dude, it's October. Have you noticed that it's actually dark outside at 7am? Seriously, quit it.
Dear Bus Driver,
What the hell? STOP SINGING.
Dear People Getting On the Bus,
Stop looking at me that way. I got here first, it's my damn seat, move on back. Thank you.
Dear People at the Park-n-Ride,
Every single friggin' morning, it's a surprise to you that I'm getting off the bus and have to walk through you. Move the hell out of the way; your bus isn't here yet. Thanks.
Dear Drivers Stuck in Traffic,
Yes, I have to cross the road in front of you because there's no friggin' crosswalk. It's not like you're going anywhere any time soon. Just chill, m'kay?
Dear Cafeteria Manager,
Dude, I don't know how you keep such a cheery disposition every single day, but keep it up. It may sound cheesy, but you light up my life, even if for a minute while I pay for my lunch. Rock on.
Dear People on the Stairs,
They're STAIRS. That means other people will use them to go the opposite direction you're going. I thought you learned how these things work a looong time ago.
Dear Guys in the Bathroom,
Come on, dudes, you're GUYS! Don't be afraid to giggle when someone lets out a massive fart. I know I'm not the only one. Guys normally find farts funny; it's even allowed in here because it's, you know, the bathroom. And it'd be less embarrassing if we all laughed. Just sayin'.
Dear Jerks That Are Too Lazy to Recycle,
It's not like the bins aren't right outside of, oh I don't know, EVERYWHERE! Use them. It's not like the short walk is going to kill you. And most of you could use the exercise. Thanks.
Dear Shuttle Van Drivers,
Excessive use of blinkers. Ever heard of the story The Boy Who Cried Wolf? Try decaf.
Dear Bus Driver,
What the hell? STOP SINGING.
Dear People in the New High-Class Restaurant That Looks Out Over the Sidewalk,
Hey, your table is right at my eye level. You wanted a window seat, that means while you look out, I get to look in. It also means I get to eye your food. And your cleavage too, lady. Bon appetit!
Posted by NuclearToast at 10:13 AM
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
If you swim in geek circles, you likely know about the "All your base" phenomenon. (If you don't, the details and full transcript can be found at wikipedia.) But if you're a big geek like me, you know about Zero Wing and the "All your base" opening.
But if you're a supergeek, like someone at my work, you have a scrolling display in the hall outside your office looping through the entire thing.
(Crappy cellphone picture. Sorry.)
Posted by NuclearToast at 8:35 AM
Monday, October 15, 2007
Friday, October 12, 2007
- Get yourself some pork stone.
- Sometimes things are in poor taste. And some things are in such poor taste that they're actually funny. Such as Men who look like old lesbians.
- Who doesn't need some Godzilla shoes?
- For whatever reason, you can get almost anything in a Hello Kitty theme. Such as a cell phone, sausages, and even an AK-47.
- Why get a tattoo when you can just get a tattoo-like tan?
- There are lots of productivity aids for today's modern office, but the weirdest one of all has got to be the office collar.
- Need a scary mask for Halloween? How about a nice Michael Jackson?
- Don't have the money for a fancy PDA? Then get yourself a handy PocketMod.
- There's really no way to introduce Bearforce One.
- Beauty pageants always seem to have a talent competition. Why, oh dear gods, WHY?
- Hello, X-Files? I found this freaky time displacement experiment video.
- Ten epic Halloween costumes.
- The wonderful and totally amazing story of the husky and the polar bear.
- Star Wars + The Dam Busters = Dam Wars.
- It's the Retro-Encabulator!
- How to make a pop-up photograph.
- Callie the dachshund doesn't like to go out. So she plays mostly dead.
- Orchestra + arcade classics = video games live.
- Toyota's viral World of Warcraft ad.
- The creepy Body Mouse.
- Interesting internet connectivity maps.
- Creepy early McDonald's commercial.
Posted by NuclearToast at 10:16 AM
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Why is it that it's always your cellphone that drops the call, and not the cellphone of the annoying jerk who talks too loud?
And speaking of cellphones, the next time you hear a ringtone so lame that it makes you laugh, remind yourself that someone chose it on purpose.
Posted by NuclearToast at 9:27 AM
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Any Stars Wars ner... er, enthusiast will tell you that before Lucas butchered their childhood memories with revisionist editing, that the lovable scamp Han Solo shot Greedo in the cantina. Variations of "Han shot first!" have popped up all over the web.
So I busted out laughing when I saw this derivative work. Click for more-big:
Get your pre-order in at Half Pixel Stuff.
Posted by NuclearToast at 8:39 AM
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Monday, October 08, 2007
Saturday, October 06, 2007
Friday, October 05, 2007
- Yes, people own former US Government nuclear missile silos. But unlike most of them, this one hasn't fallen prey to their most common ailment, flooding from being below the water table.
- Could he be the next up-and-coming YouTube star? It's the hilarious rap Bo Fo' Sho'.
- What better to complement your animated Homer Simpson USB hub than a Homer Simpson mouse and mousepad.
- As if the binary clock weren't bad enough, telling time approaches calculus proportions with the Kyokusen watch.
- Turning yesterday's junk into today's geek gear.
- Football fans wear some crazy headgear, but you really have to be into your team to wear one of these.
- Digital camera + binoculars = awesome.
- If you want small, don't get an iPod Nano. Get a USB flash card mp3 player.
- Bad day at the funhouse.
- You know someone really loves the source material when they create an entire backstory for a homemade Cthulhu specimen.
- It may be a commercial, but I can forgive that, since it features urban Ferraris.
- The 1960s Batman TV show was known for its camp, but not always for its witty dialog, such as these excerpts of Batman lecturing Robin.
- Do you like solving riddles using the web? Then you might enjoy Challenge the Qwizard.
- Rod, this one's for you: Dove Onslaught.
- Curtis, this one's for you: talking Dalek tie.
- The Broken Column house, a study in irony.
- Babies laughing and falling asleep.
- The Top 50 Dystopian Movies of All Time.
- Is is a birdtank or a fishcage? Picture.
Posted by NuclearToast at 10:44 AM
Thursday, October 04, 2007
After I was admonished by Raggs for stealing her blog post, I thought I'd continue blog mining. Here are a few things so funny that I wish I'd come up with them. Well maybe I did, but someone else did first.
Kyle Haight says:
You Know You're A Geek When...
... you're listening to a history lecture on the Reformation and you have to fight down the urge to ask the teacher why Superman didn't do anything to stop the spread of Lutheranism.
Tycho Brahe writes:
I picked up my copy of Phantom Hourglass yesterday, along with a Cinnabon, returning later to buy another Cinnabon for a "friend who really likes cinammon," proceeding to eat both in the front seat of my car, sometimes honking inadvertently.
Matthew Baldwin chimes in with:
July 25, 2007
2007 New Year's Resolution
And in a post seemingly tailor-made for me, Dong Resin asks:
Dawn of the Bread
Does bread know that it is bread? Or does it long to be wheat? At which point does it become toast? Is the moisture which escapes when you toast it the soul of the bread leaving dead toast behind?
Is the smell of toast in the kitchen a haunting by the long since bread?
A definition I like: Originality is the art of concealing your source. I guess I have to work on that a bit.
Posted by NuclearToast at 9:07 AM
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
When things catch me by surprise and are funny, I just bust out laughing. Sometimes I can manage to contain it, but usually my guffaws just gush forth. Such was the case when I got this message from Raggs, who is working an interesting job at the moment (in case you haven't been keeping up).
Raggedy Angst says:
This is so going in my blog: Disney 3-pk. High School Musical Panties
That's right, I just blogged about what she was going to blog about. HA!
Posted by NuclearToast at 4:36 PM
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Monday, October 01, 2007
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
- I don't know whether to be proud or embarrassed that I knew almost all of the internet people.
- The top ten hand gestures you'd better get right.
- The weirdly talented Mark Ryden has taken his painting The Angel of Meat and uncannily translated it into a porcelain sculpture.
- You've probably seen (or at least heard about) the video of the UF student who confrontationally questioned candidate John Kerry, was forcibly removed, and uttered the internet-famous line, "Don't tase me, bro!" But what would the internet be without a parody? Can't Tase This.
- These have made the rounds in email before, but in case you haven't seen them, they're the amazing painted hands.
- Combine Mount Rushmore with The Teddy Bears' Picnic and you get this.
- Not much more to say other than these are gruesome x-rays.
- Qee toys are vinyl figures from Hong Kong. Recently, a gallery challenged artists to start with a 10-inch Bart Simpson figure. Their results are fascinating. (Click next, repeatedly, to see a large sample of the exhibition.)
- Will Chuck Norris blend?
- Anything can happen on live TV. Even puking.
- Why use a bathroom scale that tells your weight in boring old pounds, when you can see what celebrity you weigh?
- Good words, bad words.
- Construct your own posable David Hasselhoff entirely out of paper!
- Why scoop poop when you can catch it instead?
- Cricket is a dangerous sport!
- It's a celebration and a tribute to the many faces of William Shatner.
Posted by NuclearToast at 10:10 AM
Thursday, September 27, 2007
How does one keep up with all the latest fads and memes on the intarwebs? I'm not sure; even though I spend a lot of time out there, I have a hard time staying current myself. But after the whole Chris Crocker "Leave Britney Alone" thing from last week, I thought I'd pass on a couple.
Rickrolled means being sent somewhere you weren't expecting and seeing the music video of Rick Astley's 1987 hit "Never Gonna Give You Up." So named because of his trademark dance move, or roll, in the video. Do you want to see some really cute puppies? Click here!
Chocolate rain refers to an amateur named Tay Zonday who uploaded his original song of the same title to YouTube in April. It's been viewed over 9 million times and has been the subject of hundreds of parodies. Once you watch it (his voice!) you'll be singing, "Chocolate raaaaiiiinnnn!"
Edit: I forgot to add the "OVER NINE THOUSAAAAANNNND" one. Whenever anyone gives a number, you have to pump it up to over 9000. The short clip made famous is Prince Vegeta from the anime series Dragon Ball Z.
And yes, it's true. Lolcats and YouTube are taking over the world.
Posted by NuclearToast at 10:45 AM
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
For those that worship the bacon cheeseburger and the donut, your dreams have come true. A one-pound hamburger topped with bacon and cheese and sandwiched between two Krispy Kreme donuts, ostensibly invented by Luther Vandross, is now simply known as the Luther burger.
What is not clear, however, is how you unhinge your jaw to actually take a bite of this monstrosity.
Posted by NuclearToast at 2:10 PM